1st trip to L&D...not by choice

My 36 week appointment started out like any other. U/S to see Baby Girl's fluid level (all good). At that point her heart rate was measured at 154. I was then taken into the NST room to be hooked up to the monitor...the nurse weighed me (only gained 1lb this week, for a total of 12 overall), took my blood pressure (130/74, a little high for me) and started hooking me up. As soon as I heard Baby Girl's heart on the monitor I knew something was off. It sounded too fast. When I looked over, the monitor said 192! The nurse said she was going to get the doctor...I learned later from my DH that her heart rate had been up to 210 at one point! Dr T came in and looked at the readout...her heart rate had not gone below 190, and she wasn't moving. He had me sit up and lay back down...still didn't go down, still didn't move. He buzzed her with that buzzer thing, she kicked it away but didn't move again. He thought that if she was really active her could account for her high heart rate, but since she wasn't...he couldn't. So he told me he wanted me to go to the hospital, possibly to stay overnight. Which really freaked me out! I was able to go home first and log out of my work network and call some co-workers to let them know I'd be out of pocket.

When we got to L&D they put me in an exam room, and put the monitor on...heart rate was in the 150s. I answered all their questions...had blood drawn and was then sent down to imaging to have a bio-physical ultrasound done on Baby Girl. If she scored 8 out of 8...I'd get to go home and not spend the night in the hospital. When the u/s was done, I was sent back to L&D and put back on the monitor and waited for all the results. At this point, we'd been at the hospital a little over 3 1/2 hours. When the nurse came in, she said Baby Girl scored 8 out of 8 on the u/s...my bw was normal, and her heart rate was measuring fine on the monitor. Baby Girl measured in at 6lbs 2 oz...a 9oz gain from last week. The nurse called my doc and I was free to go home. We'd been there for 4 hours. But it was the best 4 hours and most nerve wracking 4 hours of my life. Best because I knew that if ANYTHING was wrong, my doc would deliver her...he made that known in his office. Nerve wracking...well you can imagine why it was nerve wracking.

I slept really well last night, given that I was exhausted from worry. As I've been sitting here typing this, Baby Girl has been squirming and rolling. I am now on 2x per week dr visits. Monday's are just NSTs...Thursdays are AFI's and NST's and see the doc.

Oh and I forgot to mention...I did get my first internal exam...wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Cervix is still high and tight.

I have to say, I'm completely freaked out by everything. I mean, I was scared shitless when I started bleeding at 7 weeks...but that doesn't even come CLOSE to how scared I was yesterday. I knew I needed to keep calm, so that my b/p didn't sky rocket, which I must say I did a good job of, but the thought of something going wrong? OMG! I'm still nervous. And I know I'll be nervous now until Alexis is here.

36 weeks

My 36 week appointment was spent in the hospital L&D ward. I'm exhausted right now...I'll say all is well and will elaborate tomorrow.

29 days and counting

If someone had told me last year that on this day I'd be 29 days away from my due date, I would have punched them...then cried. When our first cycle failed in May of 2007 it took be the better part of a year to recover emotionally. I was a mess. I felt like a failure...as a wife to my husband, as a woman. And it wasn't easy for me to pull myself out of that...especially given that I was surrounded by babies and/or pregnant women. Don't get me wrong...we didn't just sit on our asses and do nothing. DH was seeing a male infertility specialist and we'd talked to some other RE's...but it wasn't until last summer that I found myself in a place where I could go through another IVF cycle. July 31st was my last period. I started stims a few days later. ER was on August 13th. I was excited that they retrieved the same amount of mature eggs as my first cycle. Even more excited that we had 4 fertilize. Then heartbroken when we learned on transfer day that 3 of our embryos had arrested and we only had one remaining. DH was skeptical on transferring just that one...but I couldn't fathom having gone through almost a full cycle without at least trying. So we did. And on August 28th, I received the call that I will forever remember. It was the news I had been waiting almost 5 years to hear. We were pregnant.

And now here I am, a mere 29 days from my due date. Feeling Baby Girl squirm around and stretch. And I'm an emotional wreck again. I am nervous. I am excited. I am scared. I am giddy. I am overwhelmed. I am in awe. The thought that in 29 days or less, I will be responsible for a life, that will be completely dependent on me, is crazy. Will I know what to do? Will I be a good mom? How will I cope with very little sleep? What if she's a "colicky" baby? I know I don't need the answers to these questions...that things will come to me. Of all the emotions running through me right now, the one that is at the forefront is the love I have for this baby. It trumps every other thought and emotion I have. Alexis will always know how much she is wanted and loved.

Jibber jabber

We had our second installment of our 4D ultrasound this weekend...Baby Girl was still not cooperating. She's head down and was FAST asleep. No amount of juice, cold water or jiggling of the belly would rouse her...but wouldn't you know...2 minutes AFTER we left she was WIDE AWAKE. I think she was playing possum. She doesn't want mom & dad to know what she "looks like" until she's born. So we only got profile shots again. The tech said we could come back and try again, but given our history with u/s and Baby Girl's stubbornness, we declined and took the pictures and DVD that they made. I'll try to update the Baby Pics link on the sidebar sometime this week with new pics and maybe even part of the video.

Remember I said that my sister inherited the creative gene in the family? She proved it once again yesterday when she came over to take my maternity photos for me. She's taken photography classes in college and has one of those fancy schmancy cameras that can take pictures at lightning speed. So I had asked her if she was willing...and she was. We previewed the pics on the computer, but she's going to do some in black and white for me...as well as photoshop out some of those UGLY red stretch marks. I'm VERY grateful to have a sister who is creative like she is. I just feel bad because I know I won't be able to do the same for her when her time comes...sure, I'll do everything for her that I can...but I'm not the crafty type. I can barely put together a scrapbook, let alone anything else! But I know she doesn't do these things because she thinks they'll be reciprocated. I know she's genuinely excited to become an auntie. When I get the CD from her, I'll post some pics.

Next order of business. And this may be TMI for some, so feel free to skip. This morning when I woke up and went to the bathroom, there was an itty bitty bit of blood on the tp when I wiped. The best way to describe it is a pin head sized bloody booger. That was at 5:00 this morning. Haven't had anything since. I'm not freaking out about it, as I've had no cramping or contractions...and Baby Girl is moving around as I type this. Just was weird.

Got me thinking as to whether or not I'll actually KNOW when the time comes. I mean I'm barely 36 weeks. But all my family thinks I'll have her in April...with my mom picking April 20th! They all picked a date. My sister picked the 26th, DH the 27th. My dad picked May 1st...and he was the latest. I can't remember the dates my in-laws picked. Maybe I should start my own Baby Pool!

Blood Donations

I think I may have mentioned here once before that DH and I have decided to donate Baby Girl's cord blood after she's born. I had filled out the ubber long medical questionnaire and sent it to the Cryo Bank back in February. I finally got the call this morning that we passed the medical review and they were sending out the collection kit today. For some reason, this hit me like a ton of bricks. Baby Girl is coming...and soon. I'm happy with our decision to donate. Before I was pregnant, and when I wasn't cycling, I was a regular at our local blood donation center. I donated whole blood, double red blood cells or platelets, whatever their demand was on the day of my appointment. It felt good to know that by spending an hour or 2 (platelets takes about 2 hours to donate) at the center, that I was helping someone. The same holds true for donating Baby Girl's cord blood. DH and I contemplated storing it, should we have some need for it in the future. But when we discussed it with our OB, we found that given our medical backgrounds, there really was no medical reason we could foresee for storing it. Neither of us have any childhood cancers in the family, or any other diseases. So we couldn't really see paying to store it. And I couldn't fathom throwing away something that could be a life saver to someone else. So donation it is. The Cryo Bank will send me the collection kit. And the delivering OB will draw the cord blood into it after the placenta is delivered. I then need to call the Cryo Bank and they will dispatch a courier to pick it up. No cost to me. And my OB doesn't charge extra to collect it. The only problem is if I deliver on a weekend, we can't collect the cord blood...as the Cryo Bank won't be able to dispatch a courier before the blood "expires". So here's hoping she makes her appearance during the week!

Did anyone else donate or store their baby's cord blood?

Stinky

OK this is really embarrassing but I'm putting it out there as I really want this blog to include everything in my pregnancy. Along with the elephant ankles, I've also developed really stinky sweaty feet. Now, my feet never really sweated too much before, and didn't really ever "STINK"...but lately, LOOK OUT! OMG! My feet have been sweating SO much, and the odor...it could knock anyone on their behinds! Yesterday, I had been at home, so my shoes were off most of the day. When DH got home, I asked him to please rub my feet in an effort to try to get some of the fluid circulating and out of there...well, I guess my feet reeked, because the look on DH's face when I put them in his lap...even now, sitting at work, my feet are all sweaty, and I know if I try to kick off my shoes to cool them off I'll "smoke out" all my co-workers. I've even brought baby powder with me...but it isn't helping.

I know another blogger wrote about her smelly feet, but I can't remember who it was. Anyone have any assvice for me?

35 weeks

Just got back from my 35 week appointment:

B/P: 128/74
Weight Gain: 3lbs for a total of 11lbs all together
Baby's Est Weight: 5lbs 9oz! She's a porker! LOL

I also did an NST. It was amazing to hear her heartbeat for 30 minutes...and hear everytime she moved. Since my placenta is anterior (in front) I don't feel as many of her kicks and punches as I would if the placenta was in the back. But man...she didn't like the monitor...she kept moving around and I felt all of it. The best part was when she got the hiccups...I could hear the hiccup on the monitor and feel it at the same time. Her heartrate ranged from the 140s to the 170s during the monitoring time. Then she went to sleep and her heartrate stayed right around 155. I also got to see her on u/s. She's SO big! I did get to see her swallowing (hence the hiccups) and moving around. I do have one pic of her, but it's not a good one...but I'll upload it later anyway.

I can't believe she's almost here!

New "Symptoms"

So I've developed 2 new symptoms of pregnancy. Friday morning I was working from home...and my feet started hurting a little. When I looked down they were all swollen and puffy. We're talking elephant ankles here! I immediately went to go sit on the love seat in my office and propped my feet up...and the swelling eventually faded. But everyday since, I've had swelling in my ankles...even now, as I type, my ankles are swollen. My hands haven't been affected...but I assume it's only a matter of time before the wedding rings have to come off.

Then...on Saturday morning I woke up around 2am to pee, as usual. I noticed the top of my nightshirt was wet. I thought maybe I'd drooled or something, but when I woke up in the morning I could see that I had not drooled, but had "leaked" overnight. My nightshirt was stained white.

So not only do I have to worry about swollen ankles for the last 8 days I have to come into the office, but also leaky boobs! 8 more working days. 8 more working days. I can't wait!

Shower Pics

Here are some pics from our shower last Sunday.

The loot before we tore into it.

Me and my bestest friend, Bridget.

Front of the diaper cake my little sister made.

Back of diaper cake

My corsage, also made by my sister.

DH's boutonniere, made by my sister.

The toybox that my sister made, stained, painted etc.

Inside of said toybox...this was 3/4 full when I opened it originally. I've put stuff away!

My sister's "signature" inside the toybox...with her "call sign"

Both flowers again!

34 weeks 1 day

Can I just say that I LOVE my OB? I don't particularly like the NP in his office, ok, I can't stand her...but I LOVE him. I had my 34 week appointment yesterday. BP was 124/70, a little high for me, baby's hr was 160, a little high for her. I gained 4 lbs, which puts me at +8 for the entire pregnancy so far. Typical appointment, except that my OB told me that since we've had a "premium" pregnancy, and he knows what we went through to get to this point, that he wants to start monitoring me every week. That way, if there is even a hint that something is off, he will deliver me. I almost started bawling right there...such a compassionate man. So next week, I will be put on the fetal monitor, have an AFI (amniotic fluid check), an internal cervical check and an ultrasound to gauge how big Baby Girl is at this point.

OH...and the best part...he gave me the ok to take Tylen0l PM for my pain at night...and guess what? I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT LAST NIGHT! Fell asleep about 9:30ish and didn't wake up until my alarm buzzed at 4:30! My bladder felt like it was going to explode, but I actually slept through the night for the first time in like 6 months! I feel so good this morning! Like a new woman! It's amazing what good sleep can do for someones mental state!

After my appointment yesterday, DH and I went for our closing on the refinance we did on our house. We originally did an 80/15/5 loan (1 loan for 80%, 1 for 15% and 5% down) when we bought our house 2 years ago. The loan on the 15% was a 15 year balloon at 9%...the other was a conventional 30 year fixed. Well, we were able to combine the 2 loans into one at a 5.125% rate. We'll be saving roughly $300 a month. And we don't have to worry about the balloon payment anymore since that is gone. I was VERY happy.

Let's see...what else...oh yea...DH and I went to BRU to pick up things off our registry that we didn't get at our shower. I was really surprised that no one bought us sheets! Luckily BRU had Buy one get one 50% off...so we picked up 4 sheets (I know we'll need more), we also picked up our changing pad, changing pad covers, sheet savers, our diaper bag, and bottles that "mimic the breast". The only things we really need are the mattress for the crib...BRU seems to always be out...and extra car seat bases. My mom is going to come over on Sunday to help me sort through the mountain of clothes we received...some are just not practical to keep (sweat suits in size 0-3 months for example)...others I'm not sure on. Oh yea! We also need to get our highchair. DH and I really love this one and this one. DH's mom and dad had bought us one, but we're going to return it and put the money towards one of those....we think.

I think that's about all for now...

Shower thank yous

Can you believe that I have my shower thank yous all done? Yep, just finished them this morning...well sort of...I cheated. I didn't hand write the cards...instead I printed them off on card stock. And they aren't personalized either. Here is the saying on the thank yous...as though Baby Girl was sending them:

I'm really glad you could come help shower my mother, sit down, relax, enjoy yourselves and chat with one another.
Sorry I couldn't be with you to share in mommy's shower, but you see I'm very busy cause I'm growing more each hour.
Thought I'm not here to thank you for the special gift you brought, my parents and I are grateful. We appreciate the thought.
I'll be arriving shortly, I'm as happy as can be. So after I've been home awhile, please come visit me!
All my love,
Baby Girl (and mommy and daddy)

I found this online awhile back and just FELL IN LOVE with it. It's from a site that says to copy and paste it onto your thank yous, so I'm not worried about copyrights. DH and I will sign each one individually (ok so that part isn't done yet) and I still need to print my mailing labels (need to get more labels!).

34 week appointment is later this afternoon, so I'll post more then...and hopefully will be able to post pics...though I don't have many as the person that was supposed to be taking pics with my camera sort of didn't.

Baby Shower

Sunday was our Baby Shower. Let me just say, that my sister and my mom went above and beyond the call of "duty". I had known ahead of time where the shower was being held...so that wasn't a surprise. But I had the best time. My sister got the creative gene in my family and she MADE my corsage and DH's boutonniere. I have pics...but am at work and can't upload them while I'm connected to the network. She has silk roses and little baby pacifiers and baby's breath. I really thought they were real. It is so great that we get to keep these as keepsakes. She even included her little "call sign" in the flowers. When she was little we used to call her by her name + bug...and she's always gone by a ladybug "call sign". So each of our corsages has a small ladybug hidden amongst the flowers. She made the favors as well...and a diaper cake...and for the finale...she made Baby Girl a wooden toy box! A very large toy box. With her name on it...and it's lined inside with felt and ribbons...and of course, her signature ladybug is on the inside of the top (will post pics). And said toy box was FULL of stuff that she has purchased for Baby Girl. My mom also had a large box full of things for us. That, on top of the generosity of everyone who attended, completely overwhelmed me. Even before we opened presents, I made DH give a thank you for coming speech...I was in tears. Just looking out amongst all the friends and family who took time out of their busy schedules, to spend an afternoon with us...it was too much. For both of us. After present opening, I tried to say a thank you to everyone, but I ended up getting choked up and couldn't finish. It was a very emotional day for me. While we still have things we have to purchase before Baby Girl arrives, I was completely overwhelmed at every one's generosity. From big ticket items like our swing and bedding, to gift cards, to checks, to all the cute outfits...we really were shocked. It took 2 large SUV's to get everything home. I am now in search of the perfect thank you gift for my hostesses, my wonderful little sister and mom.

Updated Belly Pics

I've updated the Belly Pics link on the sidebar...I haven't taken my 33 week pic yet...so you'll have to make due with the 32week 1 day photos...I took one straight on bare belly...can't believe I'm posting it...you can see all the red knarly stretch marks I have!

33 weeks

Another week gone by...another week closer to the end and meeting Baby Girl. I really have nothing new to say. The RLP waxes and wanes. Some days I'm good, some not so good. Today is a so-so day. I am truly starting to believe that I feel her "growth spurts"...in the form of severe heartburn and stretching of my uterine muscles...and such pain is only relieved by laying down. Hard to do when I'm still working. Luckily, I've been working from home all week...and will work from home the rest of the week...so I can lay down if I need to.

I don't believe Baby Girl is head down anymore. I believe she has taken up residence in my rib cage. Feeling now, I can feel 2 large round things under either boob. Not sure if it's a head and butt or what...but it's VERY uncomfortable. And I have at least 6 more weeks of growing to do! Yikes.

But as I've said before...I wouldn't change anything, because I know the outcome is one that I've been waiting on for a very long time. It's amazing how much I already love this little one...I can't fathom it. I don't know if it's all the hormones or what, but every time I think about holding her for that first time, I start to cry. I guess part of me still doesn't really believe that this is all real. Another thing infertility does to a gal.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

You know you're Irish when...

The condensation on your pint of Guinness takes the shape of shamrocks
You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.
You believe that to forgive is divine, but you don't exercise it yourself.
You won't eat meat on Friday, but you'll drink a pint for breakfast.
You consider any Irishman who has become successful a traitor.
You have great respect for the truth, and you only use it in emergencies.
The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get.
You eat homefried taters for brakfast, potato bread for lunch, and potato stew for dinner.
You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle.
You will never play professional basketball.
You swear very well.
You think you sing very well.
There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
Much of your food is boiled.
You are, or know someone, named "Murph."
If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac.
If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.
Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
You're proud to be Irish - and you pass these jokes on to all your Irish friends!

Question

So for those of you who have had your showers...did you get anything for the people who threw you the shower to say thank you? My mom and sister have put in alot of time and energy into planning our upcoming shower, and I almost feel like I should get them something to say "Thank you"...your input is appreciated!

Overstimulated

I have learned my lesson people. I will NOT be spending anymore days walking the mall. It results in too much discomfort.

Saturday, I met my mom at 8:45am for some shopping. I got everything I wanted...something to wear to my shower (OMG, that's THIS Sunday??), new shoes, 2 pairs, as my gymmies just aren't nice enough and none of my other shoes fit. The sling I registered for...no one has bought it yet, and a different store close to my mom's had it for less $ than BRU. 2 outfits for Lexi, as I can't buy for me without buying for her. I'm in trouble if she comes out and is actually a "he". A jacket for my DH, since I didn't want him to feel left out. And a CD that plays baby noises, crying, temper tantrums, "talking" etc...to play for my 2 dogs so they get used to the noises that are soon to enter their world. In all, I only spent $100...not bad. Told you I've become a bargain shopper!

But when I got home and sat down on the couch at about 5:00, I couldn't move without pain. Everything hurt. My feet, my back, my legs...the round ligament pain in my vajayjay was unreal. I didn't want to move. I will NOT be doing that again.

Yesterday, DH and I just spent the day enjoying the 60 degree weather the Midwest is enjoying right now. Don't be jealous...it's going to drop back into the 40s by Wednesday.

32 weeks

What can I say that I haven't already? I'm in awe of this process. Complete awe. And while I'm feeling like a stuffed pig, big and uncomfortable, I wouldn't change any of it. Well, maybe I would ask for the RLP to go away...lol.


RLP is still there. Walking is painful, putting on my pants is painful, rolling over in bed is painful...I think you get the idea. I could deal with it, if it wasn't centered in my hoo ha. Stretching pains in my sides, that I can take...but the knife stabbing in the vajayjay is too much sometimes. It literally brings tears to my eyes.


Heartburn is also becoming an issue. Even if I don't eat anything "spicy". A glass of water can cause me to whip out the Tums. Doesn't make for fun evenings, or mornings, or afternoons, for that matter.

Anywho...my OB appointment was uneventful. Saw the NP today...who I don't really like. Baby is head down, let's all pray she stays that way. Heartrate was in the 150s...my b/p was 108/64...and I've gained 3 lbs in the last 2 weeks. That means I'm up 4 lbs from my prepregnancy weight.

Da Pain! Da Pain!

OMG! The Round Ligament Pain is back with a vengeance. I'm working in my office today and I got up to get some water...and I almost doubled over in pain. It seriously feels like someone is stabbing me in the vajayjay. Evil crotch pain! I'm fine when I'm sitting, and once I've been moving around for awhile...but it's the initial stand up and take that first step that KILLS me! I'm going to mention this AGAIN to my OB on Wednesday when I go, but he warned me it would get worse. And I guess I really can't complain too much...I mean, if I look back on my posts...I was complaining that I didn't have any pg symptoms...well, I have one now!

In other news, DH and I attended our first childbirth class on Friday evening. It was interesting to say the least...the room was WAY to hot...and the instructor seemed disorganized. I'm hoping the next 3 weeks have some sort of "plan" to them and we're not just "winging it" like we did last week.

Dear Alexis,

The last 31 weeks have gone by so quickly for mommy. As we get closer to meeting eye to eye, instead of foot to ribs, mommy just wants you to know what daddy and I experienced to bring you into this world.

You'll learn very quickly from grandma and grandpa that mommy and daddy have been waiting for you for a very long time. When daddy and I got married, on that beautiful beach in Maui, you were already on our minds and in our hearts. We often thought about when you would decide to come to us, and we weren't always patient. But we always thought of you with love in our hearts and hope that that year would be the year we would get to meet you. Years went by, and mommy was a little sad that you stayed away, daddy too. We tried everything we could to bring you to us. Mommy had surgery and took all kinds of shots...then, 31 weeks ago, mommy got a call from the doctor who told me that you had come. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear that news. Mommy started crying she was so happy. Daddy cried to...and so did grandma and grandpa. We were all so happy that you decided to join our family. Mommy still gets weepy sometimes when I feel you move inside my tummy, I'm that happy you're here.

I know there will be times, as you get older, that you may think mommy and daddy are "being mean" because we tell you "no"...but, Baby Girl, just know that we love you more than life itself. Mommy and Daddy would do anything to protect you and give you everything you deserve in life. You are truly our miracle baby, and we will never, for even a second, forget how special that makes you.

With all the love in the world,

Mommy

Last night

Last night was not a good night. I went to bed around 10pm and slept ok until 1am. I got up to pee and couldn't fall back asleep. I tossed and turned fitfully until my alarm went of at 4:30...I was planning on going into the office today...but that didn't happen. Luckily, I did fall asleep around 5am and slept until 7:30, at which point I got up and logged into the system.

It was a very bad night indeed...I'm dragging ass today. And the suckiest part of it is that I'm actually busy today, so my brain is required to function. And since I've had NO caffeine since July...that isn't an option for me.

I can't wait until 4:30 when I can log out and take a quick nap before DH gets home. Who am I kidding?

31 weeks

I'm feeling much better today. Going to sleep at 9pm and being able to sleep until 7am, with only 1 instance of having to get up to pee helped tremendously. I'm working from home today. I could not stand another day of getting up at 4:30am. I needed last night. Badly. People at work ask me how I'll cope when I'm sleep deprived with a baby. My answer is that it's different. Getting up at 4:30, showering, getting dressed and out the door by 5:45am, for a 2 hour commute into the city, requires some form of wakefulness. Getting up at 4:30 to soothe a baby, change a diaper and feed baby doesn't require as much wakefulness. And, I'm not going to be asked to perform actual brain function after a night like that. I can nap when baby naps...at least, that's my hope.

As for my physical state...I'm still sore. Mornings are usually better than evenings. By evening, even sitting on the couch is uncomfortable. Only climbing into bed and laying on my side gives me any relief. Though, rolling over in bed requires use of stomach muscles that have been stretched and moved and isn't pleasant.

I still have all kinds of mucous issues. My nose is constantly running and stuffy, post nasal drips are a norm. TMI...but I seem to have a glob of mucous that has made itself at home in the back of my throat...and I can't hack it out for the life of me. This also makes for unpleasant sleeping as said glob tends to "shift" over my windpipe sometimes, which results in me waking up coughing.

All in all, I really don't have much to gripe about. This pregnancy has, thankfully, been pretty "uneventful". The minor discomforts that I'm dealing with are so worth the end result...having Baby Alexis in my arms.

DH was bringing a laundry basket upstairs for me this morning. He made a comment about how surreal it was to be carrying that basket upstairs with baby clothes in it. He's carried that laundry basket hundreds of times, with my clothes and his...but today was the first day there were baby clothes in it (I broke down and washed the clothes I had instead of waiting until after the shower). It's little things like that that make the biggest impact on us.

I have updated belly pics...but I haven't had a chance to upload them to blogger yet. I'll try to do that sometime later today.

We start our childbirth classes this Friday. Next OB appointment is next Wednesday.

Irritable Beyotch today

This is going to be a busy month for me...between childbirth classes, baptism classes, our shower, my cousin's kid's birthdays, dinners with friends...every weekend has something going on. Sometimes something both Saturday AND Sunday. I don't know how I'm going to make it. 3 days into March and I'm exhausted. Though that could be because I've been coming into the office everyday...which equals less sleep for me...and means I'm even more irritable than usual.

Take today. There is one person here at work (well, she's in NY and I'm in Chicago) that is driving me BATTY! I work in sales support, she's in implementation. Which means, we sell products, her group implements them. She has called me 4 times already...and each time, she talks and doesn't ask a question...just goes on and on about a job that I put in. The job isn't wrong, or missing information...so why is she calling? Just to "talk through it". ANNOYS the SH!T out of me. If you don't understand something...ask a question. Don't call me just to hear yourself talk! So this last time she called...I SAC'd my phone (sent her to vm)...she didn't leave a message...just called back 2 minutes later...and I SAC'd her again. What I'd really like to do is SOCK her!

See...I'm irritable today. I'm tired. I'm sore. RLP is back, though not as bad. The muscles in my stomach hurt. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of the week. Too bad "Mother May I" is just a game...

Ok...so I'm a cheater...

I admit it. I just can't help myself! What, you may be asking, am I referring to? I'm referring to online registries. And the fact that I can pull up mine at any time and see what has been purchased already. And I have. Multiple times. See, I'm a cheater. I know what I'm getting before I get it. I'm so ashamed! (lol)

But seriously, I have seen what people have purchased...but it was mostly by accident. I went to update my registry and happened to see the "Purchased" section. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

6 more weeks

Yep, that's right. 6 more weeks...until I no longer have to come into the office to work. I will have the ability to work exclusively from home after April 10th. Let me tell you, I am ECSTATIC! No more alarms going off at 4:30 in the morning...no more leaving the house at 5:45...no more 2 hour commute into the city. Until August. I'm so happy.

My RLP (Round Ligament Pain) has all but went away. But I'm having a hard time breathing today. Baby Girl must have shifted again and she's pushing my diaphragm up into my lungs...making it hard to get a deep breath when I'm sitting down. I have a desk job, so standing all day isn't an option...plus, I think I'd get tired of standing pretty quickly as my back tends to hurt when I've been standing for long periods. Go figure. I also can't get comfortable on the couch at night to sit with DH and watch some TV. The only way I'm comfy is to lay on my right side in my bed and snuggle with a pillow. Poor DH...I've been going to bed by 9pm each night...which means we spend an hour together since he doesn't get home until almost 8.

But it's all worth it...

OB update

Just got back from my OB appointment:

Heartrate: 158
B/P: 108/70
Weight: gained 4 lbs to bring me to a total of 1lb gained since August

Everything is looking good. Dr did confirm that the "evil crotch pain" I'm having is RLP. He said it will probably get worse...I don't know how much worse it could be.

30 weeks

I feel like a broken record...because as each week passes, I feel more and more grateful to be in the position I am. It still amazes me that I've reached this point, and I'm still anxious about the possibility it could all be taken away in an instant. I know that may seem silly...I mean if Baby Girl were born today, she'd have to spend a little time in the NICU, but her chances of survival are good. I guess I'm just waiting for the "other shoe" to drop.

I've been thinking about the next 10 weeks and about what I'd say to Baby Girl on the day she's born. DH and I have discussed who we want in the birthing suite with us...and we've decided that we want it to just be us, and the medical staff of course. However, we think we may ask my sister to be there as well. I want someone to be there to "document" things...take video and those first precious pictures when Lexi is laid on my chest. It's important to me to have those pictures. To be able to look at them, look at DH and my faces, and remember exactly what it felt like to see her for the very first time. I get all choked up and teary just thinking about that moment. But it's just that, a moment. And if no one else is there, that moment would never be captured for us to look at later. To show Lexi later. I know my sister would stay in the background through the labor and wouldn't offer up any commentary. She'd blend in with the medical staff...this I know. We don't want the whole family there, because it is going to be a very emotional day for us. And I can't ask my mom, without having DH's mom feel slighted. So because DH has no siblings, it makes sense to ask my sister, Lexi's godmother.

So anyway, I'm on my way in about 15 minutes to my 30 week appointment. We've decided to donate Lexi's cord blood, so I'm taking all the paperwork for my OB to sign off on...hopefully, he can sign it there and I won't have to wait for them to mail it back. I'll try to post again when I get back.

Wow...just...wow

So I was "playing" around and googling some different terms related to pregnancy, just to see what came up (yes, I know...and yes, I'm bored). One of the terms I googled was "Maternity Leave". What do I find but this site. Holy moly! I live in the wrong country! According to the site, the US is only 1 of 5 countries that doesn't provide any maternity leave to their female citizens. Whatever leave we are granted is done so at the discretion of our employers. Which is why there is such a disparity amongst us US bloggers as to how much time we are taking off after baby is born. On the other end of the spectrum...Bulgaria provides 45 days 100% paid sick leave BEFORE the baby is born, 2 YEARS PAID leave after the baby is born, and 1 additional year of unpaid time off. Hello! 3 years off? AND the "employer is obligated to restore the mother to the same position upon return to work. In addition, pregnant women and single mothers can not be fired."! Um, yea...my 12 weeks is sure looking measly right now.

Just thought I'd share!

Here are some additional sites I found interesting:

http://berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2009/01/05_maternity.shtml
http://www.momsrising.org/maternity

Odd question

OK...so I have an odd, possibly TMI question. Over the last few days, I've noticed a pain, um...down there. It comes after I've been sitting for awhile and I stand up. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the vajayjay, or really in the pelvic bone. It goes away after a minute or so, but it's still startling...not to mention painful. I do go to the OB tomorrow, and will mention it to him...but was just wondering if anyone had any insight on what this could be?

This weekend was busy. DH's grandmother passed away last Thursday morning, and he had family come in from PA and NY. Her funeral was yesterday. So we've spent the last few days with his family, who we don't get to see very often. I'm happy though that his aunt who lives in PA will be coming back for out shower in March. I wasn't expecting her to, but it would be awesome to have her there.

No new news other than that. 30 week appointment is tomorrow...

29 weeks (a day late)

Holy crappola! It's been 29 weeks! Where has the time gone? In 11 weeks or less, baby girl will join our little family. I'm so excited to meet her...to hold her...to kiss her...to smell her baby scent. It seems like I've wanted this forever, and it's finally within my reach. She'll be here in less than 11 weeks. I remember when I hit 11 week milestone...I was so happy to be making it out of the 1st trimester, and here I am in the 3rd. I never thought in a million years this dream would become a reality.

Baby girl's room is pretty much finished for now. I can't really do much else until after our shower. All the clothes I've bought her are off their hangars, tags cut off and are sorted by laundry loads on the floor, waiting for after the shower so I can wash everything all at once. Our shower is scheduled for March 22nd. I took the day after off so I can wash and organize. March is a busy month for us...we have child birth classes starting and continuing each Friday in March, our Baptism class is the 26th, the shower, and my cousin is having her 2 kids' birthday party either the 28th or 29th. Plus we have "last hurrah" dinners in with friends in there as well.

I am looking forward to this weekend...the resale shop by my house is having a "Grab Bag" sale. They give you a bag, and you stuff it with whatever you want, and pay only $10. This store is 5000 square feet, and most of it is packed with gently used clothes. I fully intend to stuff my bag to the brim. My best friend agreed to go with me...little does she know I will be expecting her to stuff a bag as well (I'll pay for it obviously). But if I can get alot of stuff for only $20? Why not? Since the economy tanked, I've become a coupon clipping bargain shopper.

Pics and Stuff

I have updated the link on the sidebar for "Baby Pics" to include 3 from our ultrasound session on Sunday. I still haven't figured out the shutter.fly thing and quite honestly, my brain doesn't want to think too much lately, so I gave up.



I was off work yesterday...and ended up going to BRU. Can I just say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE clearance sales? BRU had 50% off their "winter" items, which had already been reduced. So it was 50% off the reduced price. And I wouldn't really call these items "winter". I ended up buying some outfits. Pants and top sets. Now the tops were long sleeve, but the material was thin cotton. Not any heavy fleece or anything...I would say Baby Girl could wear these easily in the late summer, early fall. Or even to anyone's house where the AC is cranked up. The BEST part is that each outfit only cost $3.45! I hate to say it, but Baby Girl only has 4 outfits that were purchased at "regular" price...everything else is off a clearance rack. 2 of those outfits are pink and white Chicago White S0x outfits ...one is a little Elm0 outfit...and one is her "take home outfit". I've been buying all sizes so I have some outfits that are 12 months...but for $3 each? Can't pass it up! I'm all about a bargain.

3D / 4D Ultrasound

Yesterday we went for our 4D ultrasound...it was....interesting. Baby girl, unfortunately, did not want her pictures to be taken and was spine up the whole time. We did manage to see her if I layed on my side and the u/s tech scanned me on the side. Luckily, the manager is understanding of these types of things, so we get to go back again another day...April 5th...to have the whole thing redone...at no charge. I do have a CD of about 70 pictures...they are all in .bmp format, so shutter.fly won't let me do a mass upload. I still have to figure out how I'm going to post them.

I'm off work today, so going to go run errands!

28 weeks

• I'm so sleepy. I was unable to sleep well last night, having woke up at 1:30 to pee, then couldn't get back to sleep until after 3am.
• I feel restless...which is why I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't lie still. Instead of RLS, I had Restless Whole Body Syndrome
• I'm working from home again today. Because of aforementioned lack of sleep.
• Baby girl slept well last night as she's active this morning.
• We go in for our 4D ultrasound on Sunday...so excited to see her again, this time for an extended period!
• Bending over is beginning to be difficult. The yard has melted so the dogs have muddy paws when they come in. Bending down to clean them was next to impossible. I had to sit on the floor with them.
• My balance is also being effected. I tend to feel "lopsided" most times, and have lost my footing on more than one occasion.
• My mind is also not "here" anymore. I can't remember things, have to write everything down and just can't concentrate or focus on one task for any period of time (with the exception of my cross stitch blankie for Baby Girl). This makes working very hard as my sales people rely on me to be the rememberer, the one who knows all the gritty details.

3rd trimester

Holy cow...today marks the last day of my second trimester (well, depending on which website you look at). I can hardly believe that we've made it this far.


DH and I went out on Saturday night to an Italian restaurant in a nearby town. We were seated in the back room, at a corner table. The restaurant had a band playing, but not a loud crazy band...this group played alot of Willie, Johnny and Jimmy (Nelson, Cash and Buffet). We were able to enjoy their music and still hold a conversation. We talked about baby girl and how surreal this all still seems to us. Him especially. DH hasn't had the opportunity to feel her move very much. She tends to stop when he puts his hand on my belly. While we were eating, there were all these young girls there in dresses with their dads...turns out they had just come from a grade school Daddy Daughter Dance. DH's eyes welled up when he realized HE is going to have a daughter. And HE WILL get to experience Daddy Daughter Dances. Of course, that made ME well up too. So it was a good thing we were seated in a corner table...we were both blubbering messes!


But seriously, I could not be more grateful. Not one day goes by that I don't thank the powers that be for this experience. I sit in Baby Girl's room and think that in less than 12 weeks, I'll be sitting there holding her, and I'm just in awe of it all. I'm an emotional mess. I can't put it into words. I'm not emotional about parenting...it's more being emotional that I'm actually going to have a real live baby in 12 weeks. That we're actually here.


Moving from "infertile" to "parenting after infertility". It's an overwhelming and guilt ridden thought...why did my cycle work when so many other's cycles didn't. It's funny (well not funny) to think...when we were cycling, I used to think, Why Me? Why am I going through this hell? Why are everyone else's cycles giving them BFP's when mine aren't. Now, I think..."Why am I so lucky?" I think Jacki's post said it best. No matter what stage of the race you're at...all your infertile sisters who have crossed the finish line, are still there, cheering you on and waiting for your turn to cross, to celebrate, to congratulate.

201 posts!

Two posts in one day! My last post was post number 200! WOW!

So anyway, in regards to the pack n play fiasco. DH and I had picked out a pnp from BRU...it was made by Summer In.fant and was part of the Hug Me collection. Well, we found out that this pnp was being discontinued awhile back, so Wednesday while we were in BRU we saw that there was only 1 left. Well, since DH had his heart set on having the pnp that matched the bedding we want, we bought it and brought it home. Now, the box was pretty beat up and taped up...so we opted to try to put it together right away to make sure all the pieces were there. Well, let me tell you...it took us over 20 minutes to figure this thing out...and one side wouldn't lock in. No matter what we tried, it wouldn't lock. So we decided we'd take it back. I want something that is EASY PEAZY folks...nothing complicated. Well, it took us almost another 30 minutes to try to break it down. The squeeze triggers wouldn't squeeze! We were SO frustrated. When we finally broke it all down and got it back in the box, we went straight back to the store to return it.

DH then picked out another pnp he liked...well guess what? This Grac0 model is ALSO being discontinued! What are the chances? Needless to say, we bought the Grac0 and brought it home. We were able to get it together (minus the changer) in less than 10 minutes. Though I have to say, the directions they provide are HORRIBLE! 3 languages on 1 page! It's SO confusing. But anyway, that is the pnp you see in the nursery pics. We just have to break it down and move it into our room...since Grac0 wasn't smart enough to make these things a size that can fit through a standard doorway!

That my friends, is the pack n play fiasco.

Nursery in Progress - Pics

As promised here are some nursery pics. We're still working on it, so please don't mind all the "stuff" everywhere.

This is as you first walk into the nursery. The white ledge on the wall above the crib will hold letters spelling out "ALEXIS" in white. We don't have the crib mattress or bedding yet...

This is a picture of the changing table. Those flowers are actually lights picked up at I.kea.

This photo is standing in front of the crib looking at an angle. Her armoire. I will store all her sheets and extra bedding in this. The door is her walk in closet.

This picture was taken standing in front of the changing table. We put together her pack n play to make sure we could (that's another post), but that will get moved to our bedroom. There is a dresser straight on and the recliner we purchased for feedings. We paid just as much for this recliner as gliders were going for at BRU.

This photo was taken standing in front of the closet.

So that's it for now...we still have work to do cleaning up and such...

Thank you

Thank you to all who commented in support of my last post. When I initially read the comment, I was fuming angry, and had a more strongly worded post ready to go. But I chose to post what I did, so as not to come off as TOO angry! I know it's part of having a blog, people aren't always going to like what I say, and that is fine. I don't expect people to agree with me 100% of the time...just 99% LOL. Anyway, I didn't take it personally, though it did hurt at first.

On a lighter note, I passed my 2nd 1 hour glucose test! YaHoo! Results came back at 123. Normal for my office is between 60 and 180. So I don't have to retake the 3 hour! I'm SO happy about this. I was not looking forward to spending another 3 hours sitting at the OB's office. I also had a full blood workup done last week when I was there...everything within normal ranges. Very happy to hear.

We're working on Baby girl's room today. Well, DH is...I'm "helping" in between working from home. We haven't put the crib together yet, but all the furniture is in place and it's "sorta" clean. I'll take pictures later and post them...I know you all have been patiently waiting.

So on Baby Girl's name. I had been debating on whether to post it. We've had a name for quite a while. Even before we were pregnant, we had a girl's name picked out. Our family knows what it is...so do our friends. I guess it can't hurt anything to tell you internets (I love this term...stole it from Jen). Baby girl will be Alexis Marie. Alexis is a name both DH and I love, and Marie is my maternal grandmother's name. My gramma was my best friend in the world, when she died in 2003, it broke my heart. I still get sad when I think that Alexis will never get to meet her. She was one loving woman. Love you gram!

To the Anonymous Commenter...

"I have to say that it sounds like hormones talking. If you've tried that long to get pregnant, I would think you would be happy to get those comments, especially the ones noticing how good you look. Granted, you may want to discuss other things besides this pregnancy, if you think about it - this may be the only one you ever get. I'd enjoy it all you can." - Anonymous

I have to say that I took this a little negative. You do not walk in my shoes...you have never walked in my shoes. Do not for one minute tell me how I should feel about the comments being made to me. Yes, I've wanted to be pregnant for a very long time. But I've never said, I want people to be fake and ask me how I'm doing when they couldn't care less about the answer. I never said I wanted people to stare at my belly and touch my belly without invitation. I never said I wanted people to point out the fact that I'm showing. I know all these things come with being pregnant...but it doesn't mean that I welcome it, or that it doesn't get tiring. I know all too well that this could be the only pregnancy I ever experience. As an infertile couple, we think about this EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't need an anonymous commenter to remind me of that. This is MY blog, and if I choose to rant about comments I've gotten, I will do so. And since I'm turning off anonymous commenting, I will do so without fear of someone ridiculing me for it.

Tired...

This post is going to sound whiny...you are forewarned.

I'm SO tired of people making comments about "how good" I look and "oh you're showing!". No shit sherlock...I'm 26weeks pregnant, I think I'm going to show. At first all the comments didn't bother me, they were flattering even. Now, it seems that this pregnancy is the only thing that people want to talk to me about...HELLO, I HAVE OTHER INTERESTS AS WELL! I understand that I'm the only pregnant person in my office at the moment, but that doesn't give people the right to give me cheezy smiles and looks every time they see me! UUGGGHH!

Today alone, I've had 6 people tell me either how good I look for being xweeks pregnant, that I'm showing, or call me "momma". I'm so sick of it! And people wonder why I choose to work from home most days now! It's to get away from all the freaks here!

OK rant over...

26 weeks - 1 day late

Yesterday we had our 26 week appointment. I had another 1hr glucose test (please pray I pass...) and an ultrasound. Last time, we weren't able to see all 4 chambers of the heart, this time it was in full view. Tech also confirmed that baby is indeed a girl (thank goodness, b/c we bought all kinds of stuff). Baby weighs approx 1lb 15oz and is measuring at 25w5d. Heartbeat was at 158bpm. My blood pressure did go up a little...to 118/66 and I gained 6 lbs! Though I'm still down 3 lbs from my starting weight. OB was a little concerned about my rapid pulse, and sent me for an EKG. Will get the results from that soon, but the tech that did it said everything looked normal to her. So that's good.



Other than that, we took our car in yesterday because of some issues...thank goodness we are still under warranty as the work that needs to be done would have totaled over $2k in parts alone. Gotta get the vehicle baby ready! I have a loaner in the mean time...a F0rd Taur.us. Not a bad car, but I miss my SUV.



I've updated the Baby Pics link on the sidebar to include the u/s pics from yesterday...they aren't the clearest, but it's the best I can do!

100 days to go

I was looking at my little ticker on the sidebar, and realized that I have 100 days to go...tomorrow I will be in the double digits! Holy Cow! The last 180 days have flew by! Baby girl will be here before I know it.

DH and I went to the BRU store to register this weekend. These little babies require so much gear! I swear my registry must be 12 pages long. My shower date it set...March 22nd. This is all happening so quickly. Am I ready to be a mom? Will I be a good mom? These 2 questions have been floating in my head lately. DH and I spent SO much time working on getting pregnant, the thought that baby girl will be here soon really is scary...and exciting!

25 weeks

Today marks the 25th week of this pregnancy. Here's what's been going on:

• Weight gain is still minimal if any. According to my scale at home, I've gained 0.2 lbs since my last OB appointment.


• I'm sore. I'm feeling the RLP now. When I stand, my uterus feels so heavy...almost like it's going to fall out of me! I find myself walking around with my hands under my belly just to get some support (and my belly isn't even a quarter as large as what Denise was carrying around, girl, I don't know how you did it!)


• My back also hurts. My sciatica on my right side is acting up.
• My nose hurts. I've had a "mucous" issue the last few months...something my OB said is normal. So I'm constantly blowing my nose...that combined with the dry air at home and work, have cut up the inside of my nose. I actually have scabs! (I know TMI, sorry!)
• Baby girl moves mostly at night when I'm getting ready for bed. I love lying down in bed and feeling her moving around.

Other than that, not much else has been going on. DH is still working on the nursery...pics will be forthcoming.

Controversial...

I know this subject is controversial...but I wanted to get opinions. My cousin's 2 month old daughter just received her 2 month shots on Saturday. On Sunday, the baby had a seizure. She now has to undergo an EEG to measure her brain activity to see if the seizure caused any damage. When my cousin went online to do some research, she found that a side effect to one of the shots was seizures. This was not disclosed to her when she brought her daughter in for the vaccinations.

My question to all of you is...what is your take on childhood vaccinations? Are you vaccinating? Why or why not?

The pediatrician that we've "chosen" (we actually haven't chosen yet, but are meeting with this dr next week) has a policy on the importance of immunizing children. They firmly believe in the CDC's vaccination schedules. I'm not so sure and neither is DH. Our viewpoint is that we would vaccinate our daughter, but only with what he and I have had as children. These "new" vaccines scare me a little too much. I mean, the one vaccine has only been licensed since 2000...all of us born before 2000 turned out ok.

I'm not looking for anyone to preach to me about vaccines...I just want to know your reasons for vaccinating or not.

Snowy photos

Here are pics taken today. The brightly shining sun makes you think it's nice out...till you walk outside and your nostrils immediately freeze!

Our front walk...shows how much snow we have!

Too F'ing Cold!

It is bitterly cold here today. -14 degrees without the wind chill factored in. If you want to know what the wind feels like, it feels like -40. Exposed skin can freeze in 10 minutes in this weather. My poor dogs went out this morning to do their business, and nearly froze their paws off. Today was one of those days where I didn't even have to call them to come in. They were waiting by the door! I dried their paws the best I could and got all the snow from between their toes. But you could tell their poor paws were hurting. They need boots...but I'm not about to spend $50 on a pair of Mutt Luks.

As for the drama of the other day...DH's mom sided with me when DH had to explain why the envelope had been reopened. That made me feel good. To know that I wasn't just hopped up on pregnancy hormones. DH did apologize...so things are back to "normal".

I missed my 24 week entry yesterday. Work was crazy busy. But I'm starting to get excited. Excited AND apprehensive. I want to be a good mom to this little one. I know I will be, but I also know there will be times when I don't think I'm a very good mom. The reality of baby girl is starting to set in the more and more I feel her moving. My older dog, Sox, got a taste of baby girl the other day. He was lying with me with his head on my tummy...I felt baby girl kick and he must have as well because he jumped and looked at me like "What the hell was that??". He then proceeded to get comfy with his head on my leg instead.

Baby girl will be here in less than 16 weeks!

Upset

I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or what, but I'm really upset right now. See, today is DH's mom's birthday. We had bought a card for her and I had it on the table and went to the bathroom. When I came out the card was sealed. I asked my DH if he signed my name on the card and he said NO! That she wasn't my mother...and that I don't put his name on my parent's birthday cards. I told him that I always did....he's even signed most of them himself. I told him I couldn't believe that he wouldn't have put my name on the card! We've been married 3 years! The worst part was as I was walking away, visibly upset, he says, "I didn't think it was important!". Of course, I took that as I'm not important enough to have the privilege of signing HIS moms birthday card. I went upstairs, and I guess he steamed the envelope open because he brought the card up for me to sign. He had signed the card "Love your son, C". How was I supposed to sign that? So I just wrote my name and gave him back the damn card. I guess what I'm really upset about is how he continues to think in terms of "I, MY, MINE" instead of "WE and OURS" I know it's a petty thing to be crying over, but I'm really upset about it. Plus the fact that he saw I was crying and didn't bother to say anything. Just left for work. Am I overreacting to the card incident? Or would you be upset too?

Wow!

If you look over on the sidebar there are 2 links...one for "Baby Pics" which contain all the ultrasound photos I have to date, and one for "Belly Pics" which contain pics of the growing waistline. I just uploaded updated belly pics and was looking through them all...and WOW...I actually look pregnant! Though I still have a "B" belly and not a "D" belly. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't think I look pg...just fat, but in looking at the photos...I have to say that, at that angle, I am definitely showing. I guess since I was a bigger gal to begin with, my body image was skewed into just thinking I looked fat.

I have some pics of the outfits we bought baby girl, and one of the disaster of a nursery (no progress since the paint was put on the walls) but it took forever to upload the belly pics b/c blogger kept giving me internal errors...so I'll have to post those another time.

Any former girl scouts out there? For some reason this morning, as I was working, I started singing this song. I have no idea what even made me think of it. Then I started thinking of all the other songs we sang in scouts...and baby girl started doing a little jig! I actually think it's kinda funny that I even remembered the words!

Still here

Sorry for my lack of posting over the weekend...things were busy around my house. Baby girl is moving around...but she must have flipped over because her movements aren't as "strong" as they were before. As long as I feel her at least once a day, I'm ok.

I'll post more later when I have more time...

A little worried...

Baby girl has been quiet the last day or so. I haven't felt much movement. I'm a little worried about it. Though I'm sure she's ok in there, I can't help but worry...

She usually moves around after I eat, but not today...I've felt only a few faint kicks early this morning and nothing since. Did you have lulls in baby's movement?

Painted

Baby's room officially has paint on the walls! DH spent all day yesterday painting, and all that remains is a few touch ups, to put the trim and doors back up, put the blinds back up, and clean up! Woo Hoo! We went with a neutral beige color that looks awesome with the white trim and doors we have. The next steps are to put the crib together and start positioning furniture in the room. Right now, baby's closet has everything piled in it, so I'd love to start organizing!

23 weeks!

Holy crap! Only 17 more weeks to go! It seems like only yesterday that I got the call telling me my beta numbers...and here I am, sitting at work, feeling my little girl move around...and let me tell you, she's an active baby! Her placenta is slightly anterior, so I feel alot of kicks in my lower intestinal area (like in my rectal area) but I wouldn't change it for anything.

I've been feeling a tightness in my belly lately, that I can only think might be BH. They come maybe once or twice a day and only last about 15 - 30 seconds. I have to mention this to my OB on the 28th when I see him, but I don't think it's anything to worry about? Do you?

DH is home today, and is finally going to get some paint on the nursery walls. We still have to put the crib together to make sure we have all the screws and springs (remember, this crib was purchased in 1976 so some screws may have been lost). I'm really antsy to get in there and start arranging things how I want them. Nesting? Maybe...My need to be organized? Most likely.

Happy Belated New Year!!

5 days into the New Year and I'm finally getting around to posting.

New Years was great. DH and I hadn't really made any plans as we wanted to stay around the house...but we told some of our friends that if they had no other plans, they were welcome at our house...needless to say, 4 couples showed up. We had a great time. Ordered some pizza, drank ALOT of beer, well, they did, not me, played some Texas H0ld em. The last of the group left just before 2am. I was DEAD TIRED! But I wouldn't have changed the night for anything.

New Years Day was spent on the couch...literally. We didn't leave the house, and DH never even got dressed...just lounged in shorts and a T shirt.

We went out yesterday and purchased some baby items. Tar.get and K0hls had a clearance sale, and I picked up some cute little outfits for Lucky. We also went to a store here in IL called 0nce up0n a child. It's basically a resale shop, but they also have brand new stuff that big box stores sell them when they have overstock. I ended up getting a Med.ela double pump for 1/2 price. It's never been used, and it was such a good steal I couldn't pass it up. We also went to the big box baby store and purchased our Eddie Bau.er travel system...on clearance. It was marked down because it was used in a display, but all parts and books were there, so again, couldn't pass it up. My mom was a little angry that I had made the 2 large purchases...said I should put that stuff on my registry. OK, I bought a pump...I would NEVER ask someone else to buy me a pump...talk about awkward. And the travel system was reduced...there are plenty of other things we will need for Lucky when she comes. Which brings me to...

Have any of you moms out there used a sling to carry your baby? Not an infant carrier, but the sling type. If so, which ones did you like/not like. C0nsumer Rep0rts didn't rate the slings very highly, but I really have my heart set on trying attachment parenting (no disses please) and carrying baby. Plus, it would make nursing in public a hell of a lot easier and "private". And please also, tell me what really is necessary to have right away and what can wait...I don't want to go overboard, I really just want the necessary items at first.

Are you eating??

This is what the NP said to me today upon learning that I've dropped another 2lbs in weight. I wanted to say, "No, I've been starving myself and my baby" but I just looked at her and said, of course. While my weight loss isn't of any huge concern (remember, I'm a plus size gal to start with) I was still taken aback when she asked this.

So anyway, had our ultrasound as well. We got to see baby's kidneys, stomach, brain, arm and leg bones, and spine. We did see baby's heart, but not all 4 chambers, it seems she was in a bad position. Yes, I said she. It appears with 90% certainty that Lucky is a little girl. The tech said because of her position, she couldn't get a "clear shot", but that she's 90% sure it's a girl. We get to go back in 4 weeks for another ultrasound because the tech couldn't get the picture of all 4 heart chambers, so we'll be able to confirm then.

I have a few pictures, but they aren't that great since baby wasn't cooperating. I swear I felt her flip over while we were in the waiting room. I'll post them as soon as I have a chance to scan them.

Everyone please have a safe and Happy New Year!

In just a few hours...

we will hopefully find out if Lucky is a baby boy or a baby girl. I have no gut feeling either way at this point, though today I'm thinking girl. The poll is tied, so only time will tell. I'm hoping we don't have a shy child! Obviously, the most important thing is that baby is developing normally. I'm SO excited to see him/her again. It's been 10 weeks since we last had a peek!

I'll post more later with new pics (if we get some good ones!)

What a difference a year makes

As DH and I were driving around on Sunday morning, doing the last of our Christmas shopping, listening to the Christmas tunes on the radio, this thought popped into my head, and my eyes welled up with tears.

This time last year, I was dreading the holidays. We had a horrible experience with an IVF failure behind us, and the newly announced pregnancy of my cousin with #2 to deal with. I didn't want to celebrate. I didn't want to see anyone, let alone the family who would look at us with pity in their eyes and dance around the subject of pregnancy or babies with us. It was this time last year that my husband said to me that maybe I needed to see a counselor to help me deal with the emotions of infertility. Though he didn't say it quite like that. Last year, we put up our tree, hung our stockings, decorated to the gills...all in a way to put on a "happy face" for the outside world while I was crying inside.

This year is so different. Lucky is growing big and strong inside me. I'll be 21 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I can't put into words the emotions this brings up in me. I'm so eternally grateful to be given this experience. Feeling Lucky move around makes me well up each and every time. Granted, they are only little flutters, but just knowing what it is, makes it all the more special. But yet, I haven't forgotten how I felt last year...and my heart breaks knowing that there are others out in the world who are feeling today, how I felt last year. I want to wrap my arms around each of you and just hug you.

While I'm happy this year to be where I am, and all the tears shed this holiday season are tears of joy, I send a prayer up for each and every infertile couple out there. May you find peace and joy in your lives.

Christmas Pics

As promised, here are a few pics we took on Sunday...

Our tree...we cut this sucker down ourselves!

This is me standing in front of the tree without a flash.

My 2 boys. Buddy is just like me and blinks! LOL

Another one of my boys...and another blinker!

20 weeks...we're halfway there!

Today was my 20 week appointment. My bp was normal at 108/70...I've not gained a pound yet...still holding steady at the same weight from 4 weeks ago! Big plus for me since I'm already a plus sized gal. No u/s today, but we did hear the baby's heartbeat. It was a glorious sound. I'm always SO nervous before an appointment...afraid that there won't be a h/b. We listened for awhile and kept hearing what I can only describe as moving a needle across a record on a record player. The OB said that was the baby moving. And boy was baby moving alot! I guess the OJ I drank before my appointment got into his/her blood stream! But h/b was good...didn't ask for a bpm...just glad to have heard it.

The big news...we will find out on New Years Eve what sex the baby is? Any guesses?

Random thoughts

Our Christmas tree is officially decorated. When DH got home on Saturday afternoon, we started putting the lights and ornaments on. I was VERY emotional while we were doing this. I don't know why, but every ornament that was chosen to be put on the tree made me tear up. We had turned off the TV and put on some Christmas music...I guess the ambiance just made me so grateful to be where we are. After the tree was decorated, and because I was all emotional, I wanted to take some pictures of DH and I in front of the tree. So we did, and we took pictures of the dogs. I'll post some as soon as I upload them.

On Sunday, we went to a local furniture store and purchased a recliner for the nursery. We had looked at all kinds of gliders, but the ones we liked were all in excess of $500, when you add in the cost of the ottoman. We decided we would rather purchase a recliner that we can move to another room and use later instead. So we got a Lane recliner...and it cost us less than $500. DH picks it up tomorrow.

My 20 week appointment is tomorrow. I REALLY, REALLY want to have an u/s done to find out the sex so we can surprise people for Christmas, but I'm not scheduled to have my anatomy scan for another 3 weeks...we have to see if we can convince this OB to allow it...the other OB in the practice told us no at 16 weeks.

I was supposed to see the dietitian tonight regarding my failed glucose test...but she had to reschedule for Thursday night. So my appointment was changed to Thursday at 7pm.

I have been feeling what I think might be the baby moving around, but I can't be sure. I also still have to pee every few hours, and don't make it through the night very often without having to get up to go.

I know I should be enjoying this pregnancy, after all, Lucky is our little miracle. The only embryo out of 22 eggs to have made it. But I can't help but feel like this could be taken away from us at any moment. I'm afraid to enjoy this. I'm afraid of every appointment. I'm very pessimistic about this whole thing. I WANT to enjoy this...I WANT to.

Scrooge

I feel like Scr00ge this year. I haven't talked much about Christmas...DH and I just aren't in the Christmas spirit. Every year I get the "winter" blahs, but usually enjoy traveling out to the local tree farm to select and cut our tree, decorating it and decorating the house. But not this year. This year our stockings are hung on the mantle, but only because I wanted to hang my dogs' stockings (yes, my dogs each have their own stocking) and mine and DHs were with them. I have no other decorations in my house. My tree is up, but has yet to be decorated. I water it every morning, and think, maybe today we'll put some lights on it...but we never do. I have TONS of outdoor decorations, but all of them are still safely stored away in the basement, save for some wreaths that were with the stockings that I hung on our outside lights.

I'm not really sure why we're just not into it this year. It could be partly because of the horrible economy...it's partially to blame for money being tight. I'm not sure. All I know is Christmas is 2 weeks away and I just today purchased gifts for my sister and her boyfriend. I haven't gotten DH anything yet, nor have we bought for my dad, his parents or any of the friends we are exchanging gifts with.

I really need to get into gear and get moving, but for some reason, it just doesn't feel right this year...and I can't explain it.

Failed

I failed my 1 hour glucose test...and the 3 hour.

For my 1 hour test...normal would have been between 65 and 180. I came back at 182.

For my 3 hour test...normal would have been between 65 and 140. I came back at 45! Too low! So I'll be seeing the dietitian at the hospital. With my PCOS, I know I'm insulin resistant, but still. I thought I'd pass the 3 hour.

I'm really bummed this morning...

18 Weeks - 2 days late

My 18 week milestone has come and gone without incidence. Sometimes I think I feel the baby move...other times I think it's just my imagination. I can't wait for the definitive kick. I'm still not really showing, and that bums me out as well...but I know I still have plenty of time.

I had my 3 hour glucose test yesterday. Other than it being really boring, it went by without a hitch. I did get a little jittery at the end and really needed to eat something to counter act the 100g of sugar, but that was all. I should find out next week if I passed or not. I hope I do.

Other than that, not much else is going on here. I'm anxiously awaiting the 17th when I can hear baby's heartbeat again...I'm so nervous that something has gone wrong and that we won't hear anything, but that is the paranoid IF in me.

Racing Heart

So I'm sitting here at work and my heart is racing. I'm not doing anything strenuous...I took my pulse and it's 98! Normal for me is like 70! Anyone else have a rapid pulse during their pregnancy?

Thanksgiving was great...my turkey came out juicy, the broccoli casserole was divine, the potatoes weren't lumpy....but the best part was the PIE! Dutch Apple Cheesecake! Yummy!

Saturday was spent lying around the house and doing laundry...nothing extravagant.

Sunday I made my first purchase at M0therh00d Maternity. 1 sweater, 1 tshirt, 4 blouses, 1 pair of dress pants and 1 pair of jeans. $170.00 later I was on my way. Most of what I purchased was red tagged...so I would have spent a LOT more if it hadn't been. The jeans were SO comfy when I tried them on...I wanted to wear them home, but I didn't. I was hoping I wouldn't have to get maternity clothes for a little while longer, but my ute has successfully pushed my stomach up, so I now have a larger pooch just below the girls. I wouldn't say I look pregnant yet, just fat. But my DH says otherwise.

I did fail my 1 hour glucose test...I go for the 3 hour on Thursday. Boo Hoo!