Thursday, September 30, 2010

Fert Report

is less than stellar. Of the 25 eggs, 22 were able to be ICSI'd....and we have 2 embryos. Yes, you read that right...2. I'm so sad right now. I mean, I know it only takes one...Lexi is living proof of that...but I'm afraid these 2 may not make it to transfer on Saturday. Last time, of the 4 that fertilized day 1, 3 arrested.

I know I need to stay positive. I'm trying. It's just hard.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


25 eggs retrieved. Going to bed now.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Trigger went off without a hitch at 8pm last night. I'll admit, I was a little nervous about that 2 inch needle again...but I barely felt it. DH is a pro at these IM injections...well, for now...ask me again in 2 weeks (or 12 weeks?).

I'm very nervous about ER tomorrow. I shouldn't be, since this is my 3rd go around...but I've never had my E2 levels be so high. And I'm always nervous about the fert report. For anyone first IVF had 22 eggs retrieved, 17 mature, 0 fertilize. My second IVF had 22 eggs retrieved, 16 mature, 4 fertilized, 1 made it to transfer (Lexi). So we don't "luck" out in the fert area.

Well, I'm going to try to stay positive...

Monday, September 27, 2010

Good new and Bad News

The Good News...

I just got the call from my nurse...I'm triggering tonight at 8pm exactly. ER is Wednesday morning at 7am! I am the first case!! No more stims!!

The Bad News...

My E2 is over 4200...I'm being prescribed a drug to help combat the OHSS (I can't remember the name, will post it later)

Please pray that ER goes smoothly and that I don't develop OHSS.

So close

**Warning - Whiney post ahead**

I'm so done. Sooooooo done. I feel like crap. I've been fighting a cold (actually bronchitis I think) for almost 2 weeks now. And I'm a hormone ravaged crazy woman. I've been on Lupron for 26 days now...and stims for 12. As of yesterday, my E2 was over 2500. And my RE still thinks I might go one more day (tonight) on stims before triggering. I'm tired. I want this to be over already. I want to trigger and go to retrieval so my E2 can start coming down. An E2 over 2500 puts me at risk for OHSS. I don't want to deal with that.

So as of yesterday I have 39 measurable follicles. 16 on the left and 23 on the right. Of those, 29 are greater than 12mm...with my largest at 16.5. I didn't ask this morning what my largest was...

I feel irritable and grouchy...I don't want to deal with the outside world, but I'm stuck in the office. Maybe I'll run and buy some pretzels and gatorade...since I've been told to increase my salt and fluid levels...lovely.

Thursday, September 23, 2010


My E2 jumped up to 642 yesterday...largest follie was 13mm. My RE expects that I will stim until Saturday and possibly trigger on Sunday night...which would make retrieval on Tuesday morning.


Lexi is back home. She spent Monday and Tuesday night at her Grandma's house. It was odd not having her at home. I missed her like crazy. When she got out of the car yesterday evening, she ran up to me with her arms outstretched. I picked her up and she put her head on my shoulder and patted my back. Almost like she knew I missed her so much. She then ran to DH and did the same (minus the head on shoulder and back pat).

Grandma took her to the children's museum and she had SO much fun...DH and I will have to take her back when we're off work in 2 weeks!

Monday, September 20, 2010


Just for my E2 on Saturday was was 302. Continuing dosages as indicated:

Follistim - 225IU
Menopur - 75IU in 1ml
Lupron - 5IU

Next appt is Wednesday, 9/22 at 7:30am.

Monitoring & Hives

I've had 2 monitoring appointments for this cycle. Neither one was anything to shout from the rooftops about. Just your typical wanding and needle stick. I have a bunch of small follicles on both sides...the largest being 10mm this morning. Not too bad considering I've only been stimming for 5 days. I usually run about 12 days.

Why does no one tell IF patients that the 900IU Follistim cartridge that you pay $720 for actually contains roughly 1025IUs? I remember learning this last cycle 2 years ago...but at that point insurance was paying for the that it's coming out of MY pocket, I'm all about shouting it from the rooftops that THERE IS EXTRA IN THE CARTRIDGE! USE IT ALL!!! I'm taking 225IU per after 4 nights I would have used the 900IU cartridge. Well I managed to get a little more than 125IU out of that "empty" cartridge last night!


Lexi has hives. She woke up Saturday morning with these ugly red splotches on the backs of her legs and butt that looked like mosquito bites, but had red "rims" throughout. A quick trip to the pedi found that they were hives. We have no idea what is causing them...her diet hasn't changed, she hasn't gotten any new foods...pedi said it could be a virus that she is fighting that is causing them as well. Most likely this is the culprit as I was sick with a respiratory bug last Wed - Fri. Gave her some Benadryl and they cleared up...but they keep coming back. Anyone else's kid get hives from a virus? How long did they keep coming back for?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Baseline #2

I went this morning again for another round of bloodwork and an ultrasound. U/S showed that my cyst shrunk from 31mm to 12mm. So I'm hoping that it's not wrecking havoc with my hormones anymore and we can start stims tonight.

I'm still bleeding. Today is day 12 of AF...totally normal from what I'm told. Just annoying.

I'm also coming down with a cold or something. My throat is scratchy and I have a post nasal drip (not fun). Just what I need. Must be the sudden change in the weather. Really...we went from 90s and humid one week to 70s and cool the next.

In other news, Lexi ate HALF A HOT DOG on Monday night. This, from a child who refused ALL meats. I was SO HAPPY. Well, I was until I went upstairs and saw that my youngest dog chewed a hole in my down comforter and there were feathers everywhere! Do you know how hard it is to clean up down? At 10 at night? Without waking the toddler next door? Yeah...not fun.

Monday, September 13, 2010


I'm stressed today. I have lots on my mind. Some of it I have no control over, so I shouldn't be stressing about it...but I am. It's how I am.

  • DH blew a spark plug in his truck. It's currently in the shop getting fixed. $250 we weren't planning on spending.
  • His truck is a 1997 with over 100K miles on it. We can't afford a new car right now. This car needs to last awhile longer.
  • Finances are tight right now. Hence my stress about the above.
  • We just spent $1000 on fertility drugs. $1000 that we weren't expecting to spend since I didn't think my lifetime max was that close to being maxed.
  • DH's day off is changing. Normally, he is off on Tuesdays. So I take Lexi to my mom's on Monday. DH has her Tuesday, and then my mom comes out Wed - Fri to watch her. This schedule has worked for us for the past year. Now, he's off on Wednesdays and has to work Tuesdays. I have no idea what I'm going to do for childcare on Tuesdays. Right now, I'm using my company's backup childcare program...but that's not a permenant fix.
  • I interviewed for a new job last week. At another company. The interview went really well and I should hear something this week. The upside is that the pay would be about $6500 more per year than I make now. The downside? I don't know if they cover infertility services via their insurance, I don't know how long their maternity leave is (I've since heard it's 6 weeks...I get 12 weeks at this company) or how long you have to work their to be eligible, I don't know if they offer backup daycare. The HR rep said she would find all these things out for me. But right now, I'm stressing about whether or not I should accept the job if it's offered to me based solely on the fact that I would get a rather large raise. This is the thing I know I shouldn't stress over because I don't even know if they are going to offer me the job.
  • I'm still spotting. This is unheard of for me. AF is usually only 3 - 4 days max. I've been spotting since Sept 3rd. Full flow was Sept 5th, 6th and 7th. This is driving me crazy.
  • TMI Alert: I feel like I may have a yeast infection. Don't know if I can use any of those OTC medications while I'm on the Lupron...anyone know?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Happy 17 months!

Dearest Lexi,

Today you turn 17 months old. 17 months. Wow. You are no longer my little baby...but instead my sweet, precious little girl. I love coming home to you each night and seeing your face light up with that amazing smile you have.

While you still aren't make your needs and wants known. Your new thing is to grab our hand and walk us to the freezer and pull on the handle to open it. What's in there? Popsicles. You know they are there and when you want one, you let us know. But I wish you would start using words, as sometimes you get frustrated with us when we don't immediately understand your gestures.

We've managed to get your poops under control. The answer? No more whole milk and limited dairy. You get Almond Milk and no more yogurt. You still eat cheese in moderation...and yesterday had some of my cheesecake...but that's the extent of your dairy consumption. And you no longer need Miralax to help things along. And you are sleeping all night. And you are eating. Well, still only eating limited things...but this month you willingly took a piece of ham off my plate and ate it. That was the first time you EVER ate meat willingly. We're making sure to keep offering it to you, but you tend to not even touch it.

As far as favorite foods go...macaroni and cheese remains at the top...along with spaghetti, rotini, pizza, squash, broccoli, waffles, blueberry pancakes, peaches, oranges, grapes, blueberries, cherries, bananas, teddy grahams and veggie straws. Oh, and popsicles. Can't forget those.

You've been all about books this month. Wanting us to read to you, or sitting on your own reading. You LOVE books. I'm so happy you do, as I love to read as well. You also love to play outside and at the playground. You aren't keen on the swings, but love the slides.

I can never tell you enough how much I love you Alexis. You are my miracle...I'd go to the ends of the Earth for you.

Love always,


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Damn cyst

My estrogen levels are RE likes them below 60 before starting stims. So I'll be suppressing for the next week with more Lupron. I'm to increase to 20 units as opposed to the 10 I was doing. My next appointment is next Wednesday at 7am.


CD1 (4 days later)

Sorry I didn't post all weekend. We had a lovely lazy weekend enjoying the amazing fall like weather bestowed on us.

So AF actually came "Full Flow" on Sunday morning. And being that my RE's office was closed on Monday, I couldn't report it until yesterday...while I was already 2 hours away at I went this morning for my bloodword and ultrasound. U/S showed a residual cyst on my right side...whether or not we start stims tonight all hinges on whether the cyst is producing estrogen or not. If it is, it's a few more days of Lupron and another wanding before we can start.

So I'm currently waiting to see if we can start or not.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Meds have arrived

Most of my meds arrived this morning. The only ones I'm still waiting on are the 2 F0llistim cartridges I'm paying out of pocket for. Those were ordered this morning and will be delivered on Wednesday. It was painful to give the rep my credit card number...but I'm determined to remain positive and optimistic for this cycle.

Looking back at my posts from last time...I didn't have a photo of all the I'm hoping to get one this time. At least then I can show my child (children) all the drugs their mom took to get them here.

Friday, September 3, 2010

More bad news

As if the meds thing wasn't friend just called. Her betas have dropped, but slowly. She has a D&C scheduled for 6:45 tomorrow morning. My heart is breaking for her.

I know I have to remain positive...I'm trying. Today I will let myself wallow. Tomorrow is another day.

This will be our very last IVF attempt

I know I was all hunky doory on my last post about being satisfied with just my daughter if this cycle doesn't work...but that was before I knew that THIS will be our LAST cycle. Now, I'm crushed.

I was fortunate enough to have insurance coverage for both procedures and meds...albeit I had a maximum allowable benefit. Well, with this cycle's meds, I've hit the maximum allowed for medications. Actually, not all my meds are being covered this cycle. I'm paying for 2 F0llistim cartridges out of pocket. My insurance wants $857 each. I managed to find them for $720.

I'm in tears right now. I don't know how all you women who paid for everything OOP do it. The money isn't the issue, well I guess it kinda is, since being OOP now means that we won't be trying again after this. It's funny that I still have all this benefit available for procedures...but it's the meds that I'm maxed out on. Alot of the benefit (almost half) was used up by my very first cycle in 2007. Lexi's cycle was less than half what the first one was.

The thought that this will be the very last try...the last attempt...really bothers me. I mean, sure, we could cycle again...but the OOP expense would be more than we could afford. I should be happy I have Lexi. But right now, I'm sad. She was a miracle...the only embryo to survive to day 3. The only embryo I had to transfer. What are the chances that 2 miracles would be bestowed upon me? I'm sorry. I'm just so sad right now. I can't even think...

I don't remember this happening last time

I seem to be starting my period today. Which is odd. Today is only CD25. I took my last bcp last night with my 2nd Lupron shot. TMI Alert...I mean I'm not full flow yet, but by the way I feel, it will be by this evening.

This is from Lexi's cycle:

7/23/08 - last bcp, 1st Lupron
8/1/08 - 1st stim shot
8/11/08 - trigger
8/13/08 - ER
8/16/08 - ET

So from the above I would think it's safe to say that AF did NOT arrive the day after my last bcp. I mean it was a whole 10 days between 1st Lupron and 1st stim. I'm not sure I should call in today as CD1 or what. I wish I had more info from last cycle to refer to...

Could the saline ultrasound I had done on the 1st have "kicked started" AF??

Thursday, September 2, 2010

1st shot is in da belly

I took my first shot of Lupron last night. Gosh, it was a weird experience. I felt like I was having deja vu, but at the same time, it was different. The last 2 times I started this process I felt like everything was riding on that cycle. This time is different. This time, after I shot myself up, I went downstairs...picked up my daughter and gave her a huge hug. This time I don't feel like everything is at stake. I have Lexi. If she's the only child I ever have, I will be satisfied.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

IVF#3 is underway

Holy cow have things moved fast...I went today for my saline ultrasound. All looked good in my ute. Hubby and I signed all the consent forms and he had his infectious disease bloodwork done. As we were waiting, our nurse, Shannon, says to me that since tomorrow is my last bcp she will no my baseline today and I'm to start Lupron TONIGHT! OMG! Really??

Picking up the drug from the pharmacy was a surreal experience. I was sad to be doing it in the sense of needing IVF to have a baby...but also for my daughter. Is 2 years enough time to spend with her and her alone? Will she resent a new baby? Will she resent me when she's older for not spending more time with just her? I don't know. I'm still struggling with how will I love another child as much as I love Lexi? I already feel like my heart is bursting with love...I'm not sure how much more can fit, if you know what I mean.

Don't get me wrong. I'm excited as anything to be starting this cycle and having a chance to add to our family. I just don't feel 100% ready...but don't think I ever really would feel 100% ready. I just know that I want another child. I want a sibling for Lexi to grow and play with. I want that experience for her. So tonight, as I shoot myself up with Lupron, I'll be thinking of the child to come...and my baby that's here.