20 weeks...we're halfway there!

Today was my 20 week appointment. My bp was normal at 108/70...I've not gained a pound yet...still holding steady at the same weight from 4 weeks ago! Big plus for me since I'm already a plus sized gal. No u/s today, but we did hear the baby's heartbeat. It was a glorious sound. I'm always SO nervous before an appointment...afraid that there won't be a h/b. We listened for awhile and kept hearing what I can only describe as moving a needle across a record on a record player. The OB said that was the baby moving. And boy was baby moving alot! I guess the OJ I drank before my appointment got into his/her blood stream! But h/b was good...didn't ask for a bpm...just glad to have heard it.

The big news...we will find out on New Years Eve what sex the baby is? Any guesses?

Random thoughts

Our Christmas tree is officially decorated. When DH got home on Saturday afternoon, we started putting the lights and ornaments on. I was VERY emotional while we were doing this. I don't know why, but every ornament that was chosen to be put on the tree made me tear up. We had turned off the TV and put on some Christmas music...I guess the ambiance just made me so grateful to be where we are. After the tree was decorated, and because I was all emotional, I wanted to take some pictures of DH and I in front of the tree. So we did, and we took pictures of the dogs. I'll post some as soon as I upload them.

On Sunday, we went to a local furniture store and purchased a recliner for the nursery. We had looked at all kinds of gliders, but the ones we liked were all in excess of $500, when you add in the cost of the ottoman. We decided we would rather purchase a recliner that we can move to another room and use later instead. So we got a Lane recliner...and it cost us less than $500. DH picks it up tomorrow.

My 20 week appointment is tomorrow. I REALLY, REALLY want to have an u/s done to find out the sex so we can surprise people for Christmas, but I'm not scheduled to have my anatomy scan for another 3 weeks...we have to see if we can convince this OB to allow it...the other OB in the practice told us no at 16 weeks.

I was supposed to see the dietitian tonight regarding my failed glucose test...but she had to reschedule for Thursday night. So my appointment was changed to Thursday at 7pm.

I have been feeling what I think might be the baby moving around, but I can't be sure. I also still have to pee every few hours, and don't make it through the night very often without having to get up to go.

I know I should be enjoying this pregnancy, after all, Lucky is our little miracle. The only embryo out of 22 eggs to have made it. But I can't help but feel like this could be taken away from us at any moment. I'm afraid to enjoy this. I'm afraid of every appointment. I'm very pessimistic about this whole thing. I WANT to enjoy this...I WANT to.

Scrooge

I feel like Scr00ge this year. I haven't talked much about Christmas...DH and I just aren't in the Christmas spirit. Every year I get the "winter" blahs, but usually enjoy traveling out to the local tree farm to select and cut our tree, decorating it and decorating the house. But not this year. This year our stockings are hung on the mantle, but only because I wanted to hang my dogs' stockings (yes, my dogs each have their own stocking) and mine and DHs were with them. I have no other decorations in my house. My tree is up, but has yet to be decorated. I water it every morning, and think, maybe today we'll put some lights on it...but we never do. I have TONS of outdoor decorations, but all of them are still safely stored away in the basement, save for some wreaths that were with the stockings that I hung on our outside lights.

I'm not really sure why we're just not into it this year. It could be partly because of the horrible economy...it's partially to blame for money being tight. I'm not sure. All I know is Christmas is 2 weeks away and I just today purchased gifts for my sister and her boyfriend. I haven't gotten DH anything yet, nor have we bought for my dad, his parents or any of the friends we are exchanging gifts with.

I really need to get into gear and get moving, but for some reason, it just doesn't feel right this year...and I can't explain it.

Failed

I failed my 1 hour glucose test...and the 3 hour.

For my 1 hour test...normal would have been between 65 and 180. I came back at 182.

For my 3 hour test...normal would have been between 65 and 140. I came back at 45! Too low! So I'll be seeing the dietitian at the hospital. With my PCOS, I know I'm insulin resistant, but still. I thought I'd pass the 3 hour.

I'm really bummed this morning...

18 Weeks - 2 days late

My 18 week milestone has come and gone without incidence. Sometimes I think I feel the baby move...other times I think it's just my imagination. I can't wait for the definitive kick. I'm still not really showing, and that bums me out as well...but I know I still have plenty of time.

I had my 3 hour glucose test yesterday. Other than it being really boring, it went by without a hitch. I did get a little jittery at the end and really needed to eat something to counter act the 100g of sugar, but that was all. I should find out next week if I passed or not. I hope I do.

Other than that, not much else is going on here. I'm anxiously awaiting the 17th when I can hear baby's heartbeat again...I'm so nervous that something has gone wrong and that we won't hear anything, but that is the paranoid IF in me.

Racing Heart

So I'm sitting here at work and my heart is racing. I'm not doing anything strenuous...I took my pulse and it's 98! Normal for me is like 70! Anyone else have a rapid pulse during their pregnancy?

Thanksgiving was great...my turkey came out juicy, the broccoli casserole was divine, the potatoes weren't lumpy....but the best part was the PIE! Dutch Apple Cheesecake! Yummy!

Saturday was spent lying around the house and doing laundry...nothing extravagant.

Sunday I made my first purchase at M0therh00d Maternity. 1 sweater, 1 tshirt, 4 blouses, 1 pair of dress pants and 1 pair of jeans. $170.00 later I was on my way. Most of what I purchased was red tagged...so I would have spent a LOT more if it hadn't been. The jeans were SO comfy when I tried them on...I wanted to wear them home, but I didn't. I was hoping I wouldn't have to get maternity clothes for a little while longer, but my ute has successfully pushed my stomach up, so I now have a larger pooch just below the girls. I wouldn't say I look pregnant yet, just fat. But my DH says otherwise.

I did fail my 1 hour glucose test...I go for the 3 hour on Thursday. Boo Hoo!

17 weeks

I never thought I'd be here. I have so much to be Thankful for this year.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my bloggie friends.

The Turkey is in...

I purchased my bird last Friday afternoon for this Thursday's gorge fest. The lucky guy weighs a little over 19 pounds and spent the weekend in a cooler on my patio (no room in the freezer) so the dogs couldn't play with him. He now resides in my frig...slowly thawing...waiting for Wednesday night when he'll have a 12 hour bath of salt water and other seasonings.



I've had Thanksgiving dinner at my house for the last 3 years...this will be number 4. And I love doing it every year. It's nice to have the family over, knowing that DH and I don't have to rush off to another family meal soon after eating as we did in years past. I get a great satisfaction out of preparing this large meal, with sides reserved for holidays only. This year is even more special, knowing that Lucky is "with us". I'm ever Thankful for these last 16 weeks. Getting this far has always seemed like a dream to me, something other people had, something I would never have. Next year, I may have a 7 month old wanting my attention while I'm stirring the gravy...and I'm ever thankful for that dream as well. As each week passes, it's one more week to be thankful for, and one more week closer to meeting and holding Lucky.

16 Weeks

Today's OB appt was uneventful. I did have my 1 hour glucose test....yuck. But other than that it was quick in and out. I lost 5 lbs from 4 weeks ago...my bp is 110/70. Dr is very "proud" of me in that I haven't gained any weight. We did hear baby's heartbeat...but no u/s today. Next one won't be until 23 weeks! So we won't know the sex for Christmas unless we go to one of those outside 4D places. My next appt is 12/17.

Thank you all for your well wishes...they mean alot to me.

A ball of nerves

My 16 week appointment is tomorrow at 10:30 and I'm a ball of nerves. Because of my pre-pregnancy weight, I will be taking my gestational diabetes blood test tomorrow...that I'm not worried about. What I am worried about is....what if something happened to Lucky in the last 4 weeks? I've not gained any weight, in fact I've lost, I'm not "showing", have felt no movement...uugghh I guess I'm just a paranoid pregnant infertile.

Say a prayer for us tonight if you wouldn't mind.

Weekend Update

This past weekend was SO busy. DH and I went Saturday night to a poker party that all his soccer friends were having. We got to the bar at 7:30 and didn't leave until 2am! We got home around 3! It's been SOOOOOO long since I've been out that late. I'm surprised I was able to stay on my feet and be coherent. Needless to say, as soon as I got home, and my head hit the pillow, I was OUT. We had a good time though. I've never actually played Texas H0ld'em before, but I've always watched when we've gone...I'm pleased to say that out of the 3 games I played in, I was only the first one out in the last one (I attrribute that to the fact that it was midnight when the game started!). I didn't win any of the games, but I was pleased with my performance. Most of the guys there couldn't tell it was "my first time"!

On Sunday, DH and I went to buy the paint for the nursery. We're painting it a beige color so that any color accents will go and can easily be changed without having to repaint. So now the paint sits in the nursery...just waiting to be put on the walls. We also looked for new hardware for the dressers and armoire we took from my parents. We wanted to liven it up a bit with new handles and pulls...but standard now is 3 inches...out handles need 2.5 inches. So we'll need to see if we can special order anything.

I'm still hesitant to buy anything "baby" though. Paint and new hardware hardly seems like getting ready for a baby...but I did give in and buy a receiving blanket to match the bedding we are hoping to register for. And I only did that so that we could color match the paint to the bedding. Oh yea...and I bought a package of baby hangars to meet the $25 minimum required to use the coupon I had.

16 week checkup in 2 days!

Thanks

for all your kind words regarding my last post. While I would never in a million years let someone tell me how I should raise my child, it helps to know that other people agree that getting rid of my dogs because I'm having a baby just seems ridiculous.

My dogs are well trained...they listen (for the most part) and are gentle. My older guy actually loves to cuddle...while my younger one is a kisser. They are good boys and don't deserve to be banished.

Like "areyoukiddingme" said...well trained and my watchful eye should be enough. I know I have no apprehensions about bringing baby home to these wonderful pets. I know they will love baby just as much as they love DH and I.

Dogs and Babies...my rant for the day

I love my dogs...to the point where I think them members of our family. I don't dress them up, or cook them fancy meals or anything like that...but I do love them with all my heart and treat them with decency and respect. They each have their own "woobies", blankets they sleep on, and my older dog gets bed privileges at night. So when someone recently asked me if I would be getting rid of my precious furbabies when Lucky is born, I merely gawked at her. She went on about how the dog hair is bad for a crawling baby, and how the dogs could injure the baby and on and on and on.

Now, my DH and I both grew up in houses with dogs. There are pictures of me as an infant with my parent's terrier curled up next to me. I could not imagine raising a child without a dog in the house. I understand that some kids will have allergies, and, heaven forbid, if my baby has such allergies, DH and I will do what we need to do with our dogs (hopefully family and/or friends would take them). I'm in no way afraid that my dogs would harm a baby in any way on purpose. Now I know that an 80lb lab can easily knock a child over, but when you've been knocked down, you get back up again. Quite honestly, I'm one who believes that children today are pampered WAY to much. If you fell off your bike and scraped your knees, you washed it off and got back on the bike...we didn't have helmets and knee pads.

Get rid of my furbabies? I don't think so. They've been there with us, through this infertility journey, supporting us. They deserve to reap the rewards of a baby just as much as we do.

Sox...age 6 (pic taken a few years ago at age 2)...

Buddy...age 1 on Saturday

15 weeks

Nothing new to say. I have a cold...post nasal drips are gross. 1 week till next OB appointment!

Solicting information

Anyone have any recommendations for books on breastfeeding? At this point, I want to exclusively breastfeed for as long as I can. I know I will need a pump for when I return to work...but just wanted to get as much information as I can now.

I did get some information from La Lech.e League.

Thanks!

Please help if you can

Trish at Fertile Hope, posted this link on her blog. Their story is heart wrenching. Please visit and help if you can.

Thank you

I was tagged by Familyoftwo and Wendy for this award:



Thank you so much! I feel honored!

Answer the following questions with single word responses. Then pass on the award to 7 other bloggers:
1. Where is your cell phone? on my desk
2. Where is your significant other? on his way to work
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? home
5. Your father? working
6. Your favorite thing? my bed
7. Your dream last night? I dreamed of my neighbor! (Yikes!)
8. Your dream/goal? Being a parent
9. The room you’re in? does a cube constitute a room?
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? losing this pregnancy
12. Where do you want to be in six years? At home with my child(ren)
13. Where were you last night? Home watching TV (gotta love CSI)
14. What you’re not? awake yet
15. One of your wish list items? healthy baby
16. Where you grew up? Chicago (South Side!!)
17. The last thing you did? reply to work email
18. What are you wearing? pants and a shirt
19. Your T.V.? on at home for the dogs
20. Your pet? 2 rambucious dogs, Sox, who is 5, and Buddy, who will be 1 on 11/15
21. Your computer? Work issued De.ll
22. Your mood? eehhh...ok I guess
23. Missing someone? Yes
24. Your car? 05 Ford Escape
25. Something you’re not wearing? a coat
26. Favorite store? Wal-Mart
27. Your Summer? not long enough
28. Love someone? Oh yes
29. Your favorite color? Cobalt Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? can't remember, but not that long ago

OK I know it was supposed to be single word responses...but I've never been one to follow the rules. I nominate, in random order:

Nat, S.E., JJ, Denise

14 weeks

When does it start to feel like this is actually real? I'm still feeling very surreal about the whole thing. DH and I went to the American Ba.by Faire this past weekend and I felt like an impostor! I couldn't wait to get out of there! Maybe it's because I'm not showing, or haven't gained any weight, or just feel normal...but I felt completely out of place amongst all the pregnant bellies and people toting babies and strollers. I'm worried that I'm not developing some kind of "bond" with my baby that I should be at this stage. Am I crazy? Please tell me I am.

I guess that's another thing infertility does to you. When you finally get to where you want to be, your heart has such a tall and thick wall around it, it makes it hard to let the possibility of happiness in.

Just a side note...my next appointment is in 2 weeks.

Did you?