I know I was all hunky doory on my last post about being satisfied with just my daughter if this cycle doesn't work...but that was before I knew that THIS will be our LAST cycle. Now, I'm crushed.
I was fortunate enough to have insurance coverage for both procedures and meds...albeit I had a maximum allowable benefit. Well, with this cycle's meds, I've hit the maximum allowed for medications. Actually, not all my meds are being covered this cycle. I'm paying for 2 F0llistim cartridges out of pocket. My insurance wants $857 each. I managed to find them for $720.
I'm in tears right now. I don't know how all you women who paid for everything OOP do it. The money isn't the issue, well I guess it kinda is, since being OOP now means that we won't be trying again after this. It's funny that I still have all this benefit available for procedures...but it's the meds that I'm maxed out on. Alot of the benefit (almost half) was used up by my very first cycle in 2007. Lexi's cycle was less than half what the first one was.
The thought that this will be the very last try...the last attempt...really bothers me. I mean, sure, we could cycle again...but the OOP expense would be more than we could afford. I should be happy I have Lexi. But right now, I'm sad. She was a miracle...the only embryo to survive to day 3. The only embryo I had to transfer. What are the chances that 2 miracles would be bestowed upon me? I'm sorry. I'm just so sad right now. I can't even think...