Potty Training

We've never really pushed Lexi to potty train.  The potty was introduced to her at about 18 months old.  She'd sit on it and read her books...but we never forced the issue.  About a month or so ago, she became #2 trained.  She would always make poo poo on the potty...either because she asked to go, or we caught her with "the look" and got her on the potty in time.  It's been quite awhile since we've dealt with a dirty diaper.  But still, we never pushed her to use it.  Over the last few weeks, however, we've seen some signs that maybe she was ready for a "push". 

On Saturday morning I decided to go for it.  Hard core.  No more diapers.  She stayed dry all day...and made potty in the potty.  She had an accident about 7pm...and was quite upset about it.  Yesterday, same thing.  Dry all day.  She refused to put a pull up on last night.  She wanted her "big girl underwear".  I didn't want to confuse her, so I let her wear her underwear to bed, fully expecting to be woken up at 2am when she was wet.  She woke up at 8am...completely dry.

She's at school today.  And I took 3 extra pairs of underwear and pants and socks...just in case.  We'll see how well she does.  But I'm in shock.  ONE accident...in 2 full days.  And we even went out to a few stores on Saturday.  Makes me feel a little bad...that maybe she was ready all along and just waiting for me to "be ready" for this grow up stage.  I do feel a little sad that she's growing up...and so fast...but I will NOT miss buying diapers. 

One question I do have for everyone...how does your little one get up on the potty?  We haven't been able to find a stepstool that is the "perfect" height.  One is too tall and one is too small.  

The Wonder of Disney

After having slept yesterday until 10am, and napping for 2 hours in the afternoon...the fever was pretty much gone.  She still had a cough...but we made the decision to take Lexi to Disney On Ice's Dare to Dream last night.  We had been talking to her about it for days, and she was so excited about it, we couldn't bear to break her heart.  And it was a good decision.  We packed her up, grabbing her princess dress and crown at the last minute, and drove the hour into the city.  Once we got there and got inside, I pulled out her dress and crown and put it on her.  OMG I'm so glad I did.  Everywhere you looked, little girls were dressed as Rapunzel, Cinderella, Snow White, Tiana etc.  I would have had an upset little girl had I not thought to grab her stuff...and I almost didn't.  Didn't want to carry any "extras", but figured it fit in my bag, so I might as well.

Let me tell you...the show itself was great.  We were 13 rows back from the ice, so we had an unobstructed view.  Well, DH and I did.  We did buy Lexi her own seat, but a tall adult sat in front of her, so she ended up sitting on one of our laps for the whole show, and using her seat for coats.  I don't know if anyone has ever gone to a show before, but Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Pluto start things off...and when she saw Mickey skate out on the ice, her little face crumpled and tears came to her eyes.  I thought she was scared, and I asked her if she was scared or sad...she said "No mommy, I very very happy".  Well, that just brought tears to MY eyes.

She watched the whole show.  And I watched her watch.   She was mesmerized.  I don't think she closed her mouth the whole time.  She ended up sleeping in her Cinderella dress last night, and woke up this morning in a very good mood...and feeling much better than she has in days.  

Here are some photos:




Mickey, Minnie and Pluto at the start of the show




Tiana and her Frog Prince Nuveen




Cinderella



During intermission...yes, we bought a Cinderella doll.



Flynn Rider and Rapunzel and a lucky guest release a lantern




Belle and "the Beast"




This was at the start of the show.



You can't see, but her mouth is open.  She was like this the whole time.

Sick

Lexi is sick.  Has been since Sunday.  Fever, cough...the poor child is just miserable.  We went to the pedi yesterday...her lungs are clear, no ear infection.  Just a really bad cold.  Tylen0l for the fever, clear fluids.  We have tickets tonight for Disney on Ice.  She has been looking forward to going.  The pedi said he doesn't see why she can't go.  So we'll see.  Right now, she's resting with Daddy...having slept until 10am this morning.  (She was up twice last night...once at 12:45 and again at 6am).

What's next?

I have no clue.  We knew this was going to be our last insurance covered cycle.  We knew that.  But the possiblity that we wouldn't have ANY embryos to transfer never entered my mind.  Sure, we've had crappy fertilization in the past...but I never thought I'd be faced with another cycle with no embryos (our very 1st cycle back in 2007 resulted in the same). 

So now I'm faced with feeling like I'm not ready to give up...with the very real notion that I may have to.   The RE seems to think the problem lies with DH's sperm.  They ICSI'd the 10 mature eggs that they got.  My eggs seemed to be "up to par"...but still, the same result.  Dr C mentioned donor sperm and IUI.  He thinks it could work for us...since, again, he thinks the problem is DH's swimmers.  But DH isn't 100% open to that idea.  And I'm not there yet either. 

How do you tell one child that they aren't biologically their father's when the other is?  How does that affect the child?  How would that affect Lexi?  Would it?  Would DH later disown that child in the event our marriage ended?  Could he legally?  Those are the questions swimming in my head. 

The wound is so raw right now...

Meds

So as a result of this cycle being a bust I have meds available.  I'd like to recoop some of my money, but not looking to turn a profit.  Let me know if anyone is interested in the below:

900iu Follistim cartridge
300iu Follistim cartridge
4 boxes of Endometrin
2 boxes of Vivelle patches

I also have countless needles and syringes. 

Heartbroken

My clinic just called.  Of my 13 eggs retrieved, 10 were mature for ICSI...but none fertilized.  We have zero embryos.  None.  Zilch.  Zero. 

I'm heartbroken right now.  We have no more insurance coverage.  We can't afford another cycle.  We're done.  This was my worst nightmare.  Literally, I was up last night worrying about how things were going.  I guess my subconcious knew.

I have no idea how to deal with this right now. 

ER

13 eggs retrieved.  Not bad...but F.U.C.K!  That is the least amount of eggs I've gotten in 4 cycles.  I know I'm older and all...but was really hoping for more.  Fert report tomorrow.

Trigger

I triggered last night at 9:30.  I've never used Ovidrel before...so it was strange to me to inject a trigger sub-q instead of IM.  But I guess it was a good thing though...for we decided to head to our poker league and I had to trigger in the middle of the tournament.  Sub-q's go much faster than an IM. 

One thing to note...this cycle...OMG are my nips SORE.  My Tshirt rubbing against them feels like sandpaper.