Thrush

She's got it...and got it bad. Lexi's little mouth is covered in white yeast. Last week, we noticed some white spots on her tongue and assumed it was milk deposits, as they seemed to lessen when we gave her a few sips of water. However, this last ThursdayI noticed it on the inside of her cheeks. Called the ped and they called in a prescription for her. I've been giving her the meds as prescribed, but the yeast seems to be getting worse, not better. It's on the roof of her mouth, her cheeks, her tongue...uugghh. I know it's going to take a few days for the meds to kick in, but how long? She also spits some of it back out, so I'm worried she's not getting the full effect of the medicine.

I'm also worried a little about the amount of formula she drinks in one feeding. We're lucky we can get 2 ounces into her at a time, 3 ozs is rare, with most feedings being an ounce and a half. As a result, we're still feeding her every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. We can go 3 hours at night most nights. She's gained weight...weighing about 9lbs now (I weigh myself and then weigh again holding her) so she's up 3lbs from her birth weight. How much did your 7 week old take in a feeding if you formula fed?

These are all questions I have to ask her ped...but another mother's experience is just as valuable to me.

Not like me

I'm very upset with myself. I got angry at Lexi today because she wouldn't stop crying. ANGRY at a 7 WEEK OLD! She was in a fussy mood today and nothing I did would console her. I felt myself getting angry at her for not listening when I asked her to please stop crying. Who gets angry at a 7 week old?? I put her down in her pack n play and went upstairs for 5 minutes...and still she cried. When I cooled off, I went back to pick her up and she finally calmed down. But I was so upset with myself for allowing myself to get to a point that I was angry with her. I still am. It's so not like me.

6 weeks

6 weeks past, and 6 more to go...until I return to work. Today marks the half way point in my maternity leave. It's hard to believe that 6 weeks has past already.

Lexi is getting bigger everyday it seems. Yesterday was a hard day. All she wanted was to be held and fed. She would only take 15 - 30 minute cat naps and then want to eat again. I hope this is a growth spurt and not evidence of a new habit of hers. The plus? She slept from 9:15 last night until 1:15. 4 hours straight! That is a big milestone for her. She's been on a 2 hour schedule, and is like a little alarm clock. We've tried to get her to go longer, but she won't eat more than about 2 - 2 1/2 ozs at a time...she'll spit it out.

She also seems to have alot of trouble moving her bowels. She strains and grunts and cries...but her poop isn't hard, so I'm not sure why it's so hard for her to pass it. The ped had told me that it's probably just that she hasn't learned yet how to effectively use the muscles to pass the poop...but wouldn't she have learned that by now? It's so hard to watch her struggle to poop, and then have either nothing come out, or see that it's soft and wonder why it was so difficult for her.

Other than the poop issue, Lexi is a happy, content baby. We're very fortunate.

One month pics

1 month

Today, Alexis turns one month old. She's getting so big and changing everyday. I love watching her sleep. She makes the cutest faces, from grimaces and smiles, to sticking her tongue out and sucking her cheeks in to make a fish face. She had a bath yesterday. I had previously been giving her sponge baths in her little tub, but it was hard to do and I was afraid I'd drop her, and she'd scream the whole time. So last night, I filled our tub about a quarter way and got in, DH then handed me Alexis. We had NO TEARS! She seemed to really like being submerged in the water (I wonder why??). And it was SO EASY to wash her. I was able to lay her on my thighs for support of her body and just hold her head. I didn't feel like I'd drop her. She actually arched her back so that the back of her head was in the water. Not sure if it was voluntary or not, but it was cute. And she was happy. The only tears came when we took her out. I've found a new way to bathe my baby...at least during the times when I have time to take a bath with her!

Mother's Day

I was going to write a Happy Mother's Day post, but I remembered how I felt last year, when I only had a failed IVF cycle to show for my efforts. How I felt when I heard, or read, those sentiments. And I don't want to be the cause of anyone's pain. So instead, I will say Happy Sunday. May you spend this day with those you love, doing something that you love.


**I will have a post about my day today later this week.

Help me remember!

OK internets, I'm searching for a children's album that I used to listen to as a child. It was called "Dandelions Never Roar" I believe. One of the songs started out, "Dandelions never roar, not even just for fun...". I've googled it, but can't find anything on it. Can you help?

4 weeks

I'm finally able to post a "week" post on the actual day! Lexi is 4 weeks old today. The last 28 days have passed in a flash of diapers, formula, pumping and no sleep. But the reward is huge. I love my little girl to pieces. She's everything to me.

Lexi is starting to fill out. She now has chubby baby thighs and cheeks. Newborn clothes actually fit her! No more premeeie clothes!! And she has a few more periods of alertness during the day...I so look forward to those times. She loves her swing and bouncy seat...but HATES to sleep on her back. She will roll herself to her side to sleep. And I can always put her to sleep by lying her on her tummy on my chest.

Here are some pics of Lexi taken today...

I know these are involuntary smiles...but they still melt my heart!!

Hangin in my bouncer!

Hello internets!

Chunky Monkey

Lexi had a pedi appointment today for a weight check. When she went 2 weeks ago the ped was "concerned" because Lexi had only averaged a 0.9 ounce weight gain per day and he likes to see a 1 ounce weight gain per day...Please. My little meatball knocked it out of the park today. She averaged a 2 ounce weight gain per day! She weighed 6lbs 6 1/2 ounces 2 weeks ago. Today? 8lbs 5 ozs! Almost a 2 lb weight gain!

We've also switched her to Similac Sensitive. So we'll see how things go from here with the gas issues. Last night was NOT a good night. Her gas was SO BAD! She had mommy crying! Daddy was flustered as well. We only each slept about 2 hours total...and mine came between 7am and 9am!

So I'm off to take a nap now that Lexi is sleeping!

3 weeks

Miss Alexis is 3 weeks old. She seems to be getting SO big...even though I'm sure she's only about 7lbs now. The clothes she was swimming in before are fitting better, and she's a little more alert during the day. We are having gas issues. She's not a good burper and gets alot of gas in her tummy. She strains and strains to push it out, but it still hurts her. She's on breastmilk and formula, Similac Advanced...I'm thinking of switching her to the Sensitive...

As for me, I think I'm finally healing. The bright red blood stopped a few days ago and I'm no longer as sore where my stitches are. But now the emotional roller coaster begins. Lately, I've been feeling a little blue. I think it has alot to do with the fact that DH is back at work this past week, so I've pretty much been cooped up in the house alone with Lexi for the past 7 days. As the week as worn on, I've found myself letting her cry a little longer than I did before. But those cries make me want to cry as well. 99% of the time, I am able to soothe her, and know what she wants...but the other 1%...well, I don't know whether to pull my hair out or cry with her, or both. I've NOT had any feelings of hurting her, just wanted to state that up front. Just the blues.

I've also been feeling a little jipped. Let me say first, that I love Lexi to death and am SO glad she's here and healthy...but part of me feels jipped out of the last 4 weeks of pregnancy. I never "nested". I never had the anticipation of "are these the real thing". I never had any Braxton Hicks. My labor didn't go as I had wanted. It was a "normal" day and then BOOM, my water broke. I never got to say "Is this it?"...all I said was "This is it". Don't know why I feel this way, I just do. But again, Lexi is everything to me...and if having those last 4 weeks of pregnancy meant she would have had complications or anything, then I'm glad I didn't have them. I'd rather have her.

Please vote for me

Alexis asks for you to please follow this link and vote for her!

She sleeps

Lexi is currently asleep...in her crib! This is the first naptime that I've put her down in her crib...usually she sleeps in her swing downstairs during the day, or in my arms. Today though, I wanted to get some things done and didn't want to disturb her in the swing. She's sleeping like a pro after a few minutes of fussing! She's been out for about 90 minutes now...but she looks SO LITTLE in the crib!

2 weeks

Yesterday was Alexis' 2 week birthday. I'm still having a hard time believing this is all real and not just a dream. That she's really here to stay. I was singing to her the other day and just got all choked up...it's probably hormones, but I know alot of it is the realization that a dream of mine has come true. I'm a mom. Never thought I'd be able to say that!

Anyway, as of last Monday, Lexi had gained 6 1/2 ozs. So she now weighs approx 6lbs 6 1/2 ozs. We went out and bought her some premeeie clothes, since alot of the newborn ones don't quite fit yet. Some do, but she swims in others.

I'm also having a hard time healing. I'm still bleeding bright red and (TMI alert) the other night passed a large gob of tissue...at least I think it was tissue...it was stringy so I don't think it was a clot. It was the size of an egg yolk, and that's only the part that didn't fall into the toliet. I have an appointment on Monday to see my OB, and he prescribed a med for me to help clean out my uterus. I also don't think my stitches are healing right. They still bleed and are very sore. I guess it could be the fact that I didn't really "take it easy" after I went home from the hospital. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't lifting heavy objects or walking miles...but I just didn't sit on my butt all day either.

Anyway, DH and I are supposed to go see the White S0x play tonight, and my mom is going to babysit Lexi. Hopefully, we don't get rained out!

Here are some pics from the last week or so of Lexi...

Lexi's first Easter...the day after we came home from the hospital.

Just chillin' in Daddy's arms.

Just lookin' cute!

28

pounds that is. That's how much weight I've lost since my 36 week appointment on April 8th...just 12 days ago. I'm currently wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans. I can't believe it. All my swelling has gone away, and I swear my ankles are thinner than they were before I was pg. Now, don't hate me...remember, I was a plus size gal BEFORE pregnancy. And I only "gained" 12 lbs the whole 36 weeks. I had plenty of reserves just waiting to be eaten up. And so far, they have melted off. I was in shock yesterday when I stepped on the scale to see that I weigh about 15 lbs less than I did back in July. Hooray for me! Now, if only I could drop another 75, I'd be ecstatic!

Alexis has another appointment with the ped today. So I'll try to update later with her stats.

1 week old

Lexi turned 1 week old yesterday. 1 week. It's hard to believe she's been here for that long. I wasn't even expecting her for another 3 weeks, and here she is 1 week old. She had her first trip to the ER on Wednesday. DH was feeding her and noticed after that the skin around her mouth, not her lips, was blue. Around her eyes as well. So after trying to call my aunt, who is a NICU nurse, and getting no answer, we called the on call number at the ped's office. The nurse there told us to take her to the ER. What did we learn when we were seen? That she was cold. Yep, apparently, and I have never read this, infants have poor circulation in that area of their bodies and when they get cold, it can turn blue. The NICU doctor that came down to see her said it's normal, and we should "panic" if her lips and/or tongue turned blue. We felt silly leaving, but even my aunt said later, with babies as small as she is, and given that she was early, you can't take a chance. They can go downhill quickly. So 3 hours and a $100 co-pay later we were on our way back home.

Nights have been interesting. We've been co-sleeping with Lexi. She doesn't like sleeping in her pack-n-play. She fusses and ultimately starts crying. She sleeps on an infant sleep positioner between DH and I. And she sleeps like a log. We've been able to get 4-5 hours straight from her. I know this will change as she gets older, but right now, it's VERY nice. She's a very good baby overall. Doesn't cry too much...as we know when she's hungry already before she cries. She makes this little face and grunts.

Feeding. Well, I had wanted to breastfeed exclusively, but that isn't happening. She failed her blood sugar test once while in the hospital, and she couldn't latch on to me...her mouth was too tiny, so I had to give her formula. Right now, I'm pumping and feeding it to her in a bottle...with formula supplementation. I get about 2oz from each side during each session. Which is enough for 2 bottles for her. But she still gets some formula at night. I'm still trying to put her to breast and try to get her to latch on, but I'm not going to force the issue on her. I'm happy she's getting breast milk at all.

Lexi also lost her umbilical stump on Thursday. At 6 days old! I was so sad to see it fall off (I was changing her diaper when it did, so yes, I have it, and yes, I know it's gross!).

I think that's about all for now. I must go tend to my little angel now...

Alexis Marie - Pictures

These pictures were taken by the hospital on Saturday, April 11th and are my personal favorites.

Birth Story - Part Two.

**Disclaimer** A painful delivery is discussed in this post. I don't mean to frighten anyone currently "due any day"...so please feel free to skip paragraph 4.


I have to say...that even though my water broke, I was feeling NO contractions...NO pain whatsoever. I was very nervous on the drive to the hospital. I didn't feel ready...I thought I'd have another 4 weeks to syke myself up for this moment. When we arrived in L&D I was taken into an exam room and told to strip and put a gown on. Once that was done, I was asked all the routine questions you get asked when going to L&D...last prenatal visit, all that good stuff. Around 11:45 I was taken into my room...and it hit me. This is the room where my daughter is going to be born. My hospital has "birthing suites". You labor, deliver and recover all in the same room. It's nice because you don't have to worry about being moved everywhere. My nurse, Heather, did the paper test to make sure that my water had indeed broke, standard procedure she said. She could tell by the amounts of fluid I was leaking that my water had indeed broken. I was hooked up to the monitors and Heather had to go through my "prenatals". Since I was only 36 weeks, and had just gotten my Group B strep test done the day before, the hospital didn't have my records from the OB yet. So I had more questions to answer. Heather then checked my cervix...which was still "high and tight" talked to Dr T, the OB on call, and he said to go ahead and start my IV and antibiotics.

Now, you have to forgive me as things started happening fast and I don't remember most of it. I had my hubs writing things down for me as far as times and what was happening. I do know that around 1:45ish I started feeling cramps. Nothing crazy, just felt like bad menstrual cramps...and they were all focused on my lower abdomen. At around 2am, my husband left to go back home and pick up some things I had forgotten. We figured, it's our first baby, I'll be here awhile. At 2:30am, my Pitocen was started. And the contractions started coming, at what felt like, every 2 minutes or so. But I could still breathe through them. Hubs got back sometime between then and 3:00, when my cervix was checked again and I was at 2cm. Over the next 45 minutes, I really started having alot of painful contractions...one right on top of the other. I was getting no relief between them. I was given a shot of Stadol at 3:45am, which didn't take the pain away, just made me feel really loopy.

Dr T. likes to have his patients at 3-4cm before an epidural is administered. When I started begging for one, the nurses said that they might as well "go ahead" with it because I'd be 4 cm by the time the anesthesiologist came. At 4:45am I was given my epidural and checked again. I was 7cm. By 5:30am I was fully dilated. Now, while the epidural took away the pain of the contractions, I could still feel the pressure in my bottom, and at about 7am began having the worst back pain on my left side ever imaginable. On a 1 - 10 pain scale, my pain was a 20! There were only certain positions that I was comfortable in. I wasn't allowed to push at 5:30 because baby girl was still high and Dr T wanted her to drop naturally before I started pushing. I think I was finally allowed to push at around 8am.

It was not what I imagined it would be. Don't get me wrong, I didn't imagine a pain free delivery...but I also didn't envision one that was as painful as mine was. I felt no contractions, just the urge to push, but the back pain...OH MY GOD, the back pain. It hurt to push, it hurt NOT to push. My nurse kept telling me I had to rest between contractions, but I couldn't. I had NO relief between them. Dr E. then came in. He's another OB in the practice and he was going to do my delivery. He really got me focused, as I was begging them to just do a c-section and get her out. I don't know if I would have made it without his efforts. I really wanted to give up. I was exhausted and in pain. My poor hubby felt so lost. He wanted to help me, but didn't know what to do. I just remember pushing and pushing...none of that controlled push to the count of 10 bullshit you see on TV. At one point, the delivery of her head I found out later, my urge to push never went away. I must have pushed 10 times. I honestly didn't even feel her crown. The pain in my back was too extreme. The next thing I knew, I could hear Dr E suctioning her...and I asked DH "Is her head out?" and he told me it was. I pushed again and her shoulders and the rest of her was born. It was 9:40am. And it was like someone turned off a pain switch. The pain in my back was immediately gone. I learned then that Baby Girl came out face up, instead of face down, and the back of her head had ridden my sciatic nerve all the way out. That is what caused all the pain I was having.

Alexis was taken to the warmer to be cleaned up, while I was stitched up. I had torn at the last minute when she debuted face up. I was crying the whole time. I couldn't believe she was here. I still can't.

Pictures are coming. The camera is downstairs, and I'm typing this with Alexis on my chest. I'll try to get them up tonight or tomorrow.

Birth Story - Part One

Well, Thursday was just like any other day...I went into the office to work..and my co-workers threw me a shower! Came home...ate dinner with the hubs...watched Survivor and CSI and got ready to go to bed around 9pm. At 10:45 I woke up because I had to pee...nothing new. Went back to bed and fell back to sleep immediately. At 11:00 I woke back up feeling VERY wet. I was pissed because I thought I had peed myself...I didn't realize at the time that only 15 minutes had passed since my last trip to the bathroom. When I got up, wetness just started running down my legs. I ran, or should I say, waddled quickly, into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I realized then that I had left a trail behind me and a puddle in front of the commode. Nothing else was coming out, and I still didn't know if I had peed myself or if my water broke. But when I stood up again, and felt another gush of fluid, I knew. My water had definitely broken. I called down to DH and said I think we need to go to the hospital...he thought something was wrong, because of what happened the day before with Baby Girl's heart rate. I told him I thought my water had broken and he needed to call my OB for me. Now, since I was only 36 weeks, I hadn't yet packed a hospital bag. So while he called the doc, I began throwing things into a bag that I thought I'd need. Once that was done and we'd let the dogs out one more time, I grabbed a towel to sit on in the car and off we went to the hospital. It was approximately 11:20pm.

Next installment coming soon...

She's here!

Thank you all for your well wishes! Yes, Baby Girl made her debut quite unexpectedly on Friday morning at 9:40am. She was 4 weeks early, but is just perfect. We're home from the hospital and are learning quickly what it means to have a newborn at home. Though I have to say, I'm enjoying EVERY minute of it.

I'll post her birth story a little later, as well as photos. But for now, we're off to see the pedi and pick up some new clothes...all the ones we have are WAY to big for her!

Welcome Precious Angel

Alexis Marie was born today; She entered the world at 9:40 am , weighed in at 6lbs even and 18 1/2 inches long.

I can't stop crying, I'm so happy. I'll be sure to pass along all of your sentiments when I go see Amy and the baby this weekend.-Bridget