Thursday, May 28, 2009

Not like me

I'm very upset with myself. I got angry at Lexi today because she wouldn't stop crying. ANGRY at a 7 WEEK OLD! She was in a fussy mood today and nothing I did would console her. I felt myself getting angry at her for not listening when I asked her to please stop crying. Who gets angry at a 7 week old?? I put her down in her pack n play and went upstairs for 5 minutes...and still she cried. When I cooled off, I went back to pick her up and she finally calmed down. But I was so upset with myself for allowing myself to get to a point that I was angry with her. I still am. It's so not like me.

10 comments:

s.e. said...

You are human. All mothers must identify with this.

My mom tells a story of walking around the outside of the house for an hour while my sister cried inside in her crib.

Parenting is stressful. You did the right thing and cooled off. Try not to feel guilty.

Denise said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are in the thick of the most challenging job you'll ever have and it is normal to feel angry once in awhile. You did the right thing by putting her in a safe place and walking away for a couple of minutes. Hang in there!

Mel said...

Don't be so hard on yourself, Amy. A lot of it is hormones and exhaustion. I had several moments of just having to put the bug down and walk away those first 2 months.. it is SO HARD to hear a baby cry and not be able to make it stop.
*hugs*

Jen said...

It happens. Babies are hard work and you can't reason with them.

Fertilized said...

You are way normal ... It's the sleep deprived exhaustion talking/reacting. Hang in there - be kind to yourself. Feel the feelings and hang in there. Sometimes, Walking away helps. Good choice

Samantha said...

Totally normal and dont beat yourself up. You did exactly what you are supposed to do. You put her down left and cooled off. Kudos to you for handling it well.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I usually lurk rather than comment. I wanted to send a kind word as a new mom of a four month old. Your'e only human. I get frustrated, I think, because I am at a loss to what to do when she is inconsolable. Sounds like you dealt with it well. Try to be gentle with yourself.

Jen said...

same thing happened to me. I was so overwhelmed. I went for my 6 week checkup and was put on meds for post partum depression. Nothing wrong with that... I'm glad I got help.

Delenn said...

Its okay to feel that way. Babies are flipping frustrating! If they weren't so cute, we wouldn't be able to tolerate the times when they are not!

When I went into therapy for my Post Partum Depression, my therapist said those hormones are still fucking with you up to a year after giving birth. So, yes, it is probably not like you--its hormones and the stress of dealing with a fussy baby.

You did the totally right thing by going away for five minutes.

Hang in there--it does get better as she gets older, you are still in what is considered the worst of it...

Tricia said...

I think we will all reach that point. That happened to me one night already. Hang in there. It's okay. XXXXX