Thanksgiving

My brine is done...the bird is thawed and ready for it's bath.

The cooking has started.

And I look at my little girl...4.5 years old.

4.5 years. 

5 Thanksgivings

More love every year...every day

More love than I ever imagined I was capable of

So thankful to be her mama

Been sick

Sorry for being absent...again.  I've been sick the last week...coughing and hacking up the yuck.  It's been 10 days and while I'm feeling 100% better, I've still got some chest congestion going on...not much...and it's getting better each day.

My GYN appointment is tomorrow...and while I don't think he'll be able to miraculously look at me and state what the issue is...I'm still hoping to get some idea what, if anything, is going on.

AF came and went...4 days long.  Having a 4 day period isn't abnormal for me...but I would have thought since I missed a cycle...that it would be a longer one.  Who the heck knows. 

I had my parent teacher conferences this morning with Lexi's pre-K teacher...who I love.  I was not prepared for her to hand me a Kindergarten readiness handbook.  That caught me off guard.  I mean, I know she'll be in Kindergarten next year...but actually getting a handbook and starting to prepare for it?  Holy cow...though my darling little reminds me that she'll be 5 on her next birthday!  She thinks 5 is some magical number...and that something, I don't know what, will change when she turns 5. 

Yep

So AF arrived this morning...36 days late.  I just had a 64 day cycle.  I had to reschedule my appointment...yet again, because...well, because I didn't want to pay a co-pay for what I already know...I'm not pregnant. 

I still want to know why I had a 64 day cycle...which I why I am going on the 26th.  I'll have my PAP done...as well as bloodwork to find out what my hormone levels are.

It is what it is...I guess.

Could it be?????

Of course, since my doctor's appoinment is tomorrow...what happens today?

I use the bathroom and find pinkish/brownish discharge on the tp. 

Nerves

For shits and giggles I POAS this morning with FMU...as expected, it was negative.

So I went to MedicineNet.com's symptom checker...better than google right?...

Well, the number one thing that came up for me?  Ectopic Pregnancy.  Though I would think the absence of hCg in my system would rule that out....the other options:

Perimenopause
Premature Ovarian Failure - basically menopause in someone younger than 40 (me)...what I'm thinking
Anorxia Nervosa -Um, no...trust me, I eat
Pregnancy - Don't think so
Hypopituitarism - yea, this one scares me as it's caused by some kind of brain infection or tumor

Not happy...

WTF

So my doctor's appointment was scheduled for 3pm today...at 2:30, while I'm in the car, I get a phone call from his office stating that he was called away for a delivery and won't be back today.  WTF! 

I mean, I understand...but I had no idea he was now the ONLY doctor in the practice...there used to be 3 of them plus an NP.  Now it's just him.  And he's in his 70s. 

All the more reason for me to switch after the 1st of the year...but until then...I'm stuck! 

So now my appointment has been rescheduled for Thursday at 10:30.  Let's hope no one goes into labor...

The sick

The sick has invaded my house...

Lexi has been sick since Tuesday of last week...I kept her home Tuesday when she sounded like a frog.  Sent her on Wednesday when she seemed better...she made it through the 2.5 hours of class.  Thursday I sent her as well...but the nurse sent her home with a 101 fever and instructions on staying home until she's fever free for 24 hours.  So she'd been home.  With me.

Saturday I started feeling congested.  Sunday was just a waste...with me sitting on the couch watching first the Bears lose to the Lions...then the BlackHawks beat the Oilers.  Lexi sat with me most of the day.

Today, DH is off work for Veteran's Day...Lexi is at school, and I have to work.  Darn company doesn't recognize Veteran's Day as a holiday.  But the sick is still lingering.

No developments on the "other" front.  Face is broken out, jeans are snug, I smell everything...even being congested.  I see my doctor tomorrow. 

Chicken soup is in the crock pot for dinner tonight...and I'm salivating at the smell of it.  I love homemade chicken soup...I make my own broth and it's excellent!

29 days

Today, AF is supposed to arrive.  Again.  I've officially missed an entire cycle...and I don't feel like she's imminent.  I'm starting to wonder if my doctor ran a quantitative HCG or if he just ran a qualitative one. 

My last AF was 9/11/13...and I average 29 days.  So I should have O'd on or around the 25th.  We did the deed on the 21st.  We also did the deed on the 5th, so if I O'd a week late, due to stress of the trip...

See where my mind is going? 

It shouldn't be going there because it's not possible...right?  I mean, we've been together 10 years...never used birth control and never got pregnant "unassisted". 

This is crazy.  Crazy.  I feel like I'm going crazy.  Because my face is broken out...and my jeans are snug...I'm craving salt like a mad woman...I'm going crazy.  Tuesday can't come soon enough!

3 years

It's been 3 years since I lost you.  I still think of you everyday and wonder what you would be like today, at 2.5 years old.  I miss you and love you more than anything.

Love,

Mama

Still nothing

Still no AF...25 days late.  And I don't even feel like it's imminent...and technically, I'm due again on Thursday the 7th.  I hate how all of a sudden my body is throwing me for this loop!