Today, I should be 12w2d pregnant...instead, it's the 4 week mark since my D&C. It's hard to believe that I would be entering my 2nd trimester soon...possibly sporting a small baby bump. I can't help but think about those things. Those "I should be's".
No one asks anymore how I am. It's almost as if it didn't happen. It's almost as if I'm the only player in a nightmare. Alone. That's really how I've been feeling. Utterly alone. Even DH doesn't talk about it. The only person I feel I can talk to about it is Lexi. Funny huh? Talking to a 20 month old about their lost sibling. But I find comfort in showing her the ornament that hangs on the tree to remember her baby brother/sister. Even if she doesn't understand.