And the results are...

6 vials of sperm! Yes, the andrologist, Paul, was able to get 6 vials of sperm from DH's sample on Wednesday. Unfortunately, DH didn't ask him about the freeze/thaw cycle they did, or any other relevant information like how many sperm were in each vial and if they were able to "weed out" the bad ones. He doesn't think to ask things like that, but I can't fault him. The last thing he wants to be talking about with another guy is the quality (and quantity) of his man juice.

I'm on vacation next week! Well, not all of next week. But Wednesday through Sunday! Long weekends...gotta love 'em. DH and I are going to attend the fireworks at this huge festival. Can I just say that I'm utterly impressed it has it's own Wiki page? Anyway, the fireworks are held on the 3rd. I haven't attended in about 10 years, since there are always millions (and I do mean millions) of people who flock to the lakefront to see them. Trying to contend with all those people trying to get home via the "L" or Metra is just too much for me. This year though, we decided we would stay here instead of fighting the crowds. I was shocked that they still had rooms available as late as Monday when I booked. Any other Midwesterners venturing to the lakefront for this binge fest?

Frozen swimmers

In preparation for our upcoming cycle, DH went today to provide a sperm specimen that we will freeze. To answer a commenter's question...we are freezing a sample of sperm ahead of time because DH has poor morphology and really low counts. His last SA came back at 11 million sperm with only 3% of those being "normal". Plus, his SA's have been all over the place as far as counts. This 11 million was alot...he's been as low as 2 million. So we want to ensure that, should he not provide his best sample on the day of retrieval, that we have a backup so as not to repeat our last cycle performance.

I also received yesterday the clearance letter from my GYN to proceed with this cycle. See, because I was diagnosed HPV positive and with mild cervical dysplasia on my PAP last January, my RE wanted something from my GYN saying he gives me the green light to go ahead with this. I guess my RE doesn't want to take any responsibility should I get pg and develop cancer or something. But see, she's assuming I get pg.

I wanted to give shouts out to Jen, Mel, and JJ who all received BFP's this past week. Maybe some of that Braces Bunch luck will befriend me come the beginning of August.

Also, Jacki received some bad news today...go give her a hug.

Lastly, wanted to thank all my readers and commenters. You all mean the world to me, and I know I don't update this blog enough (hopefully, that will change now that I'm cycling again) but I really appreciate all those who continue to check back with me. Lots of love and ((HUGS)).

P.S. I've posted 11 posts in June...the most of any month since starting this blog. See, I'm getting better!

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To answer Familyoftwo's questions:

I haven't talked to DH yet today to see if they gave him results...I doubt he'll have them today. Paul, the guy in charge, knows we will be doing ICSI this cycle. I guess they do the wash a little differently with ICSI than they would usually do. He will also be taking a small portion of the normal sample and freezing and thawing it to see how they survive the thaw. We will be sending my RE this frozen sample on ER day regardless. But I guess whether or not they use it is something I need to ask at our consult on the 2nd. Thanks!

A new beginning?

As our upcoming cycle grows closer, DH and I have been thinking more and more about what we will do if we get a negative result. See, we bought our current 4 bedroom, 3 bath house with the intention of filling it with children's laughter. Of building our family around this structure. If children aren't in our future, then neither one of us wants this house. It would just be a painful reminder of what we don't have; and it's a pain in the butt to clean. Now, selling a house with the market the way it is, isn't the smartest thing...but we bought this house WAY under market value in 2006. Even with the decline in housing prices, our house is still worth more than what we paid for it. We wouldn't realize the huge profit we originally thought we would, but we wouldn't be upside down either.

Our thoughts have begun to run into selling the house and moving out of state. We're currently about 50 miles outside of Chicago. We have no real downtown area as the village was originally vacation homes for the doctors and lawyers from Chicago in the 1950's and 1960's. A small, growing community that is quickly becoming congested and "busy". We both long for open land. Of having a few acres between us and our neighbors. Of not having the traffic congestion or pollution that comes with a growing community. Of being able to relax on our patio without worrying that the neighbor's dog is going to start yapping just because. So we've been playing around with this idea.

The thing that really weighs on my mind is the fact that we won't get to see our families. I think my parents would be heart broken if we weren't within driving distance. Plus, all our friends are here. Have any of you ever moved to a new city? How did your families cope? How did you research where you wanted to live?

Now, we've both never lived anywhere other than the Chicagoland area. It's a little exciting to me to think about moving to a city I've never been to. But a little scary too. I'd like to move somewhere that has some history. Somewhere we could get a few acres and not break the bank. Yet somewhere that is close enough to a city to be able to drive there to enjoy the nightlife or other goings on. Somewhere that has grocery stores and shopping...it doesn't have to be chain supermarkets and Wal Mar.t, just a local store. I don't want to roast in the summer (so Phoenix is out) and I don't want to freeze in the winter (no to Juneau as well). Anyone have any suggestions? Just so you know...we've played with Columbus, Ohio, and I've looked at Knoxville, TN real estate (though I don't understand the different area numbers). And my DH mentioned Ravensden, Arkansas (though I put the kabosh on that one)

How's that for thinking positive? We haven't even begun our cycle and we're already contemplating what we're going to do when it's over.

On the IF Front...

DH has his appointment for next Wednesday to give another sperm donation...this time, it will be frozen in anticipation of our upcoming IVF cycle.

I'm nervous and giddy at the same time about this cycle. I'm so excited to be moving forward again, to be doing something. Instead of feeling like the time is just sailing past us. But I'm also very nervous. We had a horrible experience last time, and while I know this RE is 100x better, and I've read posts from women who have seen her, I still can't help being a little weary. I mean, we have a limited amount of insurance coverage, and IVF wouldn't even be possible for us without it. I felt like I wasted insurance dollars last cycle, and I just don't want to feel that way again. I really want this to work and to be able to give DH the opportunity to be a father.

Another Meme...

Found this one someone's blog (I'm sorry I can't remember who I stole it from) and thought I'd give it a whirl...

Here’s a list of things and you have to bold the ones that you have done. So here goes:

Bought everyone in the bar a drink
Swam with wild dolphin
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candle lit bath
Said I love you and meant it
Hugged a Tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightening storm at sea
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a roller coaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool, not caring who watched
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Actually felt happy about your life, even for a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was too drunk
Had amazing Friends
Danced with a Stranger in a foreign country
Watched wild whales
Stolen a sign
Hitchhiked in Europe
Taken a road-trip
Gone rock climbing
Midnight walk on the beach
Gone sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were in love
In a restaurant sat at a stranger’s table and ate with them
Visited Japan
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your CDs
Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Posed nude in front of strangers
Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
Toured ancient sites
Taken a martial arts class
Played a computer game for more than 6 hours straight
Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news program as an “expert”
Got flowers for no reason
Performed on a stage
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded Music
Eaten shark
Had a one-night stand
Gone to Thailand
Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently
Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city
Walked on the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
Had plastic surgery
Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 lbs
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Petted a stingray
Broken someone’s heart
Helped an animal give birth
Won money on a TV game show
Broken a bone
Gone on an African safari
Had a body part below the neck pierced
Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
Eaten mushrooms gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept for more than 30 hours over 48 consecutive hours
Visited more foreign countries than US States
Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten Kangaroo meat
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the paper
Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
Gone back to school
Parasailed
Petted a cockroach
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read the Iliad
Selected one important author who you missed school to read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating (fish)
Skipped all of your school reunions
Communicated with someone without sharing a common language
Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
Had to put someone you love in hospice care
Build your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone that didn’t know it was yours
Had a booth in a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Shaved your head
Caused a car accident
Saved someone’s life

Your turn...

Scattergories

I found this on Kim's blog and thought I'd play along...



SCATTERGORIES - it’s harder than it looks! Play here or play on your blog.Use the first letter of your name of your street to answer each of the following. (if your street name is a number use the first letter that spells the number. If you live on Fifth Avenue then your letter should be F) They have to be real places, names, things - nothing made up. You can not use your own name for the boy/girl names.



1. What is the name of your street? Northside

2. A 3 letter word? NOT

3. Something you would find in an office? Notebook

4. Something that smells bad? Nicotine

5. Movie Title? National Treasure

6. Slow Dance Song? Need You Tonight, INXS

7. Something in your pantry? Noodles

8. Name of a pet turtle? Nicodemus

9. Fetish or Phobia? Necrophobia (Fear of dead things)

10. something you would find in your medicine chest? Naproxen



Play along!

Can you tell I'm a Wikipedia fiend?

We're moving forward...

finally. The IVF Coordinator from my clinic called me today. I completely forgot that she was supposed to call. I'm glad she remembered. My RE does want me to come in for a consult, but more of an abbreviated version. Just to talk about protocols and sign the legal forms. I also need to have my GYN fax my PAP results along with a note stating that, despite my HPV diagnosis and mild cervical dysplasia, that I am clear to cycle. So July 2nd, 9:30am. DH will have his blood drawn for the communicable disease testing...and if AF shows up right before that, then I can get my CD3 BW & US out of the way and start BCP. Could it be? Would the planets align just right to allow us to get everything accomplished in one visit? Since I'm highly pessimistic, I say no.

This weekend was nice. Saturday, I put together some new outdoor furniture...DH put up the patio umbrella and strung lights on it. It looked really nice as we sat out Saturday evening. But then we forgot to close the umbrella and early Sunday morning the wind gusts reached about 60 miles per hour and snapped said umbrella's metal post in two. No more umbrella.

We had our parents over for Father's Day. We also invited the parents of a friend we no longer talk to. DH and I had a mutual friend in high school who is now estranged from his parents. They don't get to see their grandkids very often and I know it really hurts them that their only child has gone on a destructive path. They've done everything they could, as have his friends, but he has chosen his course. Anyway, halfway through the day, we got hit with another thunderstorm. Have I told you I'm TIRED OF THE RAIN??!! But after it passed (like 15 minutes later) it cleared up and it turned out to be a very nice evening.

I'm so proud of myself...since joining the Braces Bunch, I've only sent out 4 postcards...but today, I just mailed 7 cards. Not postcards...but cards. I've caught up with alot of my blog reading, so I'm hoping to stay up to date. Those of you who don't know what Braces Bunch is...check this out.

I now leave you with a beautiful Midwestern sunset. Don't mind the light poles or cars...it was taken in a Men.ards parking lot. But if you use your imagination, you can find yourself in a tropical destination.

Patio...updated with bad pic

As I've said before, I'm tired of rain. The Midwest has been battered lately by storms. Luckily, my little community has been spared from the worst of it. But still, when it rains, my backyard becomes a mud pit. DH and I have been trying our damndest this year to get the grass to grow...and we've been pretty successful. It helps that my puppy sits squats when he pees and he's got NITROGEN PEE! So we have tufts of grass throughout the yard that grow 100X faster than the rest of the yard. But try as we might, we have not been able to get grass to grow in the area surrounding our back steps into the yard. Mostly because that is where the 2 dogs play the most. So this area always is the cause of the 6 inches of mud I scrap off the dogs paws each time they are out after a rainfall. No more. Yesterday, my concrete patio was poured. It's purdy. I haven't taken any pics yet, but I will. I'm so happy that we had it done. Not only will the dogs not be caked in mud, but we will actually have a place to sit without the grass tickling at your ankles (something else I dislike). Anyway, I'll update with pics when the sun is shining and I can go outside without getting drenched.

Here's a bad pic of the patio...as you can sorta see...we've got stuff all over it from a get together, and that's my big guy, Sox walking through.

Wondering...

Does anyone ever hear from ME and Steve? I have been thinking about her and I've sent an email, but haven't gotten a response. I was just wondering how she was.

And because I have nothing better to tell you, other than we're having our patio poured today...I leave you with a picture of my 7 month old...

Green Thumb **Edited at bottom

First, Mini Vann has arrived! Go check out Farah's blog

I've never had a green thumb. Every plant I'd ever owned I've killed...even cacti. But I've had this one plant that I bought when hubby and I purchased our first townhouse in 2004 that I haven't killed...yet. So this year, I decided I would plant 3 rosebushes out in our front yard. I figured they would die...so imagine my surprise one day when I saw this...



I was SO excited I sent this picture to my closest IRL friends. I was even MORE excited the next day when it looked like this...





This is the only bloom so far, but there are many more buds on the plant. Even the other two rosebushes seem to be thriving...they have buds as well. I thought that maybe this change in luck with plants would resonate throughout the rest of my life, but it appears not.

I had gotten a call on Friday from my RE's office stating they had gotten MFS's letter and results and my next step is to schedule a consult. I called today, and the first available appointment is July 10th! I told the girl (she was the andrologist helping on the phone, J) that I really wanted to start with my July cycle which is due on the 1st. She said the notes on my account only indicate I need an IVF consult and that I hadn't been there since June of last year. I promptly informed J that was incorrect as I had been in for CD3 BW/US in January and have had a consult since then. So she transferred me to the nurse, K, whom I left a message with.

I really want to start in July. I haven't cycled since April/May 2007 and I just feel like every month that goes by is a missed opportunity. I'll update when K calls back.

************************************************

So K called back and let me know that the RE's initial notes in my file indicated that I would need an IVF Consult only if I desired. Since I've already been through a cycle and know what is involved she doesn't think that I will need to do it. But the RE and IVF Coordinator are both on vacation this week. K will check with them on Monday and have them call me. So I may be cycling in July!!

The verdict is in...

The MFS sees no reason why we can't proceed with another IVF cycle with DH's sperm. While the SA results weren't the best...he does have normal sperm. Of the 8 million sperm in the sample, 3% were completely normal. MFS also said that usually an IVF lab is more strict on sperm quality than a diagnostic lab "because everything is on their shoulders". He sent an email to my doctor to ask them if the 3% normal sperm were "sufficient for their use". And he also stated he wants us to freeze a sample or two to ensure we have enough "good sperm" to use. So while I did get most of my answers...(I got all I could from MFS) I now have to wait to see if my RE will "accept" DH's levels for a cycle.

I'm just hesitant about starting a new cycle if I don't know if the RE will find good sperm. But I guess with a few frozen samples, we should be good. So now I have to call my RE and see what's next. I've already missed June, since CD3 was Tuesday...but let's pretend for a moment that I start a cycle in July...that means ER and ET would be around the end of July. And let's sink deeper into fantasy land and pretend it works...that means I'd have an EDD of approximately March 2009. A girl can dream right?

T minus one day

Tomorrow afternoon DH and I see the Male IF specialist (MFS) and we are demanding answers. He has been seeing this doc since September and originally said that he wanted DH to take the Clomid for 3 months. It's been 9 months...I want answers damnit. I want to know if we have any chance of cycling with his sperm. I want to know if we need to start thinking seriously about donor sperm or not. I want answers!! I'm so tired of NOT knowing what the hell is going on with things. UUGGHH! So I plan on drilling MFS tomorrow and not leaving without my answers.

Also, today is CD3. AF arrived on Sunday afternoon. I could have been going for CD3 bloodwork had we had answers!