Well, the good news is there is nothing visible in my tubes.
The bad news is there is nothing visible in my uterus either.
My RE still seems hopeful. My lining was nice and thick at 10mm...but there was no visible gestational sac. I'm 5w1d today. She said normally between 5w and 5w5d is when the gestational sac is visible. But the fact that my hcg levels are still low is cause for some concern. Not crazy concern...but some.
We're hoping at this point that since we did transfer 2 back that one started implanting right away, which gave me the positive hpt so early, but didn't make it...and that the other one started implanting late and that's why we can't see a sac yet. She said to remain cautiously optimistic...but that's so hard to do.
I keep thinking that: if only we hadn't said anything to anyone...if only I didn't miss that morning's progesterone suppository...if only I had rested more after transfer...if only I had been more excited about this cycle...if only I hadn't been so consumed with how Lexi would take to being a big sister...that maybe we'd have a different outcome.
I know that's silly. In my head I know that there is nothing I could have done differently. Nothing that I did caused this to happen. But tell that to my heart. It was so hard lying on the table being wanded...the tears just started. My u/s tech, Patty, is so nice. She told me there was no reason for tears yet. That things COULD still work out.
I'm trying to hold out hope that she's right...that when I go back on Monday there will be the start of a sac...but it's not an easy feat. I'm leaving my ticker up for now. If I have to take it down next week, it will be replaced by something to remember this cycle by. I'm still PUPO. I just have to remember that.