Sunday, October 24, 2010

2ww all over again

I feel like I'm in the 2ww all over again...and I have no clue what the outcome will be. I go back to the doctor tomorrow morning for another ultrasound...and they will also check my hcg levels again. Based on a 377 last Wednesday...I would hope to see my beta somewhere around 1200 or more...since there will be 6 days in between tests. But I guess the ultrasound is going to be the end all be all. I'll be 5w5d tomorrow. If they don't see anything, am I to assume this is a chemical pregnancy? But then why would my levels rise?

I haven't had any spotting...and no real cramping. I say "real" because I have felt twinges on my left side...but nothing that I would say is a cramp. I hate being in limbo. I hate not knowing what's going on inside my body. Am I pregnant or aren't I? The waiting is horrible.

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On another note, we drop Lexi off at my parent's house tonight. Because of the time of my appointment tomorrow, I won't be able to drop her off in the morning. She will be staying until Wednesday when my mom will bring her back. 3 nights without her. I'm so sad.

4 comments:

Mo and Will said...

God, this is so hard. I have to say - you are definitely pregnant - with an outcome that's in a terrible limbo right now, but that doesn't mean you aren't pregnant as of this moment. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping fervently for good news on your end.

Mo

Familyoftwo said...

I so hope this isn't it for you, but when this happened to me they simply called it a "non viable pregnancy" My levels increased, but never did double. A chemical the egg fertilizes but never implants-so NO this isn't what is happening in this regard--regardless of outcome you are pregnant in the true sense.

Hugs. Thinking of you a lot!

s.e. said...

Hoping you have some good news that will cheer you up.

Thinking of you. May what feels like an eternity go by quickly.

Jamie said...

I am so sorry you are having to live in this purgatory.

I'm thinking of you this morning and I am hoping, wishing, praying for good news when you get back.

Much love to you . . .