Poop Watch

Poop watch is fully commenced. Lexi has been on Miralax now for 7 days. And it's working. Saturday we had the poop of all poops. I have to preface this by saying that in the last year, I've been VERY lucky in that I haven't had too many messy diapers. Everything pretty much stayed contained where it should be...with the exception of pee leaks overnight.

So Saturday...Lexi is playing in the family room, when she stopped, mid play and made "the face". "The face" only lasted for about 15 seconds and she started playing again. I didn't think that the 15 seconds was long enough to warrant a diaper check. Well, as she was playing, I noticed a "spot" on her jammies. So I took her upstairs to change her. When I took off her jammie pants...O.M.G. Poop explosion! It was coming out BOTH sides and her back! I had to put her in the tub to take off the diaper and wash her down. HORRIBLE! And she laughed the whole time.

Sunday was another big one...but it stayed contained. And she slept through the night both Sunday and last night. Her intestines are finally empty I think...so no tummy aches waking her up.

Zoo pictures coming soon!

It would figure

I don't know why I was obsessing. I know better. If DH and I couldn't get pg by ourselves for almost 5 years...what made me think that maybe, just maybe...uuggghhh. I know better!

She showed up late on Saturday...and as I was sitting there at the pink tp...I couldn't help but be swept with an enormous sense of grief...followed by relief. I think it finally hit me...I'm not normal. DH and I aren't ever going to have a baby the "normal" way. Sounds silly coming from someone who already has 2 IVF cycles under her belt doesn't it. Shouldn't I have known that a few years ago? I think that I knew it in my head...but I never really, 100%, let my heart believe it...until Saturday. But like I said, the grief was followed by relief. I was happy that I wasn't pregnant right now. Please don't take that the wrong way. If I was, I'd be THRILLED...it's just that DH and I kinda talked about when we wanted to start cycling again, so I've had this timeline in my head...and this didn't fit it.

We said we'd go back to the RE in July or August to start cycling. IF the first cycle worked...that would mean another late April / early May baby. Lexi would have just turned 2. She would be more independent...more able to communicate her needs beyond whining and crying...she would be "mommy's little helper". It may seem trite...but I really think 4 or 5 months makes a big difference in a toddler's development. At 20 months old, would she be able to do the same things as she would at 25 months old? Who knows. Maybe I'm just trying to make excuses for why a Christmas baby wasn't a good idea for us to cover up the hole that infertility has made in my heart.

We went to the zoo yesterday...but that will come in another post with pictures later...and I have another poop watch update.

It's not to be

AF came late on Saturday. I have a post in my mind about how I'm feeling...but it will need to wait for tomorrow. Thanks all.

Obessing again

It's all I can think about right now. And I know it's crazy. COMPLETELY UTTERLY INSANELY CRAZY!


I'm late. Not by much...but I'm still late. 4 days. I haven't been 4 days late AT ALL since my period started again back in July. I've been every 28 - 30 days. Clockwork. Now I'm 4 days late and OBSESSING. The only reason I'm obsessing this much? Let's just say this past month DH and I "found" each other again. Many times. More in the last month than in the previous 6 months. And of course, we didn't use anything. Why would we? He's got MFI and I've got my issues.

I haven't POAS. I'm NOT going to POAS. Unless another week goes by. I figured I'd use "talking" about the possibility as a way to get her flowing. Always worked in the past.

Don't get me wrong...we'd be THRILLED beyond belief IF something were to be gestating. That would mean a due date around Christmas this year...and while I would be happy it happened naturally...I'm also feeling a little remorseful. I mean this coming Christmas...Lexi will be 20 months old. Old enough to understand and have fun at Christmas. And do I want that time clouded with a newborn?

UUGGHH I feel like I'd be such an ungrateful person.

I know I shouldn't be obsessing. I mean...it's only 4 days. And I'm SURE that once I hit publish she'll come knocking...

Poop watch

Yep...I am on poop watch. Lexi started the Miralax on Monday night. So she's had 3 doses. Tuesday...nada. Not one nugget. Yesterday...one small poop, hard but not as bad as before. Still white. Then again yesterday, one very hard nugget. Today...one diaper with a few peanuts in it. THEN...the mother of all diaper loads. HUGE poop...NOT HARD...kinda pasty. YAA HOO! Never been so happy to see poop.

She'll still be on Miralax for a little longer, just to make sure things get all cleaned out. But she's SO happy now. You can see it on her face...she feels better.

Sorry all for the TMI post, but this is technically my "baby book"...so gotta write these things down!

13 months

Dear Lexi,

Happy 13 months sweet girl!

This has been a trying month for us. We switched from formula to whole milk...not a huge issue, you like the milk. But you're having poop issues. It's been awhile since you've had a normal movement...and I'm getting nervous...since things are kinda snowballing. You can't poop...except small little hard "pellets"...so you won't eat very much...which means you wake up at night hungry for milk...which means you're not getting enough sleep...which makes for a cranky, whiny girl.

I've called the pedi last week...we were trying prunes and prune juices...which resulted in one semi normal movement. But I can't feed you prunes everyday. So I called again today...to find out how much Miralax you should get. I mean you're drinking 32 - 40 oz of milk/juice a day. It's not that you're not getting enough liquid.

OK...just got off the phone with the nurse. The switch to whole milk is most likely the cause of the constipation. 1/2 cap of Miralax per day. Adjusting as needed until stools are like "pudding" (sorry readers...but need to write it down). We'll start tonight. Anything to make your tummy feel better.

On a different note, you're walking VERY well. Running almost. You still can't get to a standing position without holding onto something, but that will come with time.

You say the following words, "mum", "ba" for your bottle, "woof" for the doggie, "bahhhzzz" for balloon. You know that the cell phone goes to your ear, and that the comb is for your hair. You know where your feet are, and that the shoes go on them. You tried to put your shoe on mommy yesterday! You are a great helper when it's time to get you dressed, you know where your arms and head go on the shirt, and try to put it on yourself.

Tigger and Curious George continue to be your favorite "lovies" and you LOVE your pink coupe car! You will open and close the door, get in and out for almost 30 minutes!

That's all I can think of right now!

Other than I love you more and more each day!

Love,

Mommy

1st Birthday - Pictures

Finally, we got some of the pictures from Lexi's first birthday...

Birthday Girl

All these people are here for moi?

Our family

The Cake

It was atomic

The Smash Cake (plain yellow)

Singing Happy Birthday

Blow out the candle!

You want me to do what?

EAT it? No way!

I'll SMASH it!

I like this!

Look! My hand is PINK!

I like making a mess!

Here Daddy...you eat it!

Yummy!

Ha Ha!

Messy Girl!

I should note that she ate maybe one bite of the cake...the rest she played with.