Friday, May 14, 2010

Obessing again

It's all I can think about right now. And I know it's crazy. COMPLETELY UTTERLY INSANELY CRAZY!


I'm late. Not by much...but I'm still late. 4 days. I haven't been 4 days late AT ALL since my period started again back in July. I've been every 28 - 30 days. Clockwork. Now I'm 4 days late and OBSESSING. The only reason I'm obsessing this much? Let's just say this past month DH and I "found" each other again. Many times. More in the last month than in the previous 6 months. And of course, we didn't use anything. Why would we? He's got MFI and I've got my issues.

I haven't POAS. I'm NOT going to POAS. Unless another week goes by. I figured I'd use "talking" about the possibility as a way to get her flowing. Always worked in the past.

Don't get me wrong...we'd be THRILLED beyond belief IF something were to be gestating. That would mean a due date around Christmas this year...and while I would be happy it happened naturally...I'm also feeling a little remorseful. I mean this coming Christmas...Lexi will be 20 months old. Old enough to understand and have fun at Christmas. And do I want that time clouded with a newborn?

UUGGHH I feel like I'd be such an ungrateful person.

I know I shouldn't be obsessing. I mean...it's only 4 days. And I'm SURE that once I hit publish she'll come knocking...

6 comments:

Mel said...

Haha... we are such funny creatures, aren't we? (sub)fertile women. I think none of us really knows exactly what we wants until it just happens the way it is supposed to happen. You're on my heart... and remember that whatever is meant to be will be!
xoxo

Photogrl said...

I don't think we'll ever stop obsessing...ever.

Can't blame you for waiting, I hate to POAS.

((HUGS))

Courtney said...

Wowzers! Um, yeah, I got nothin' but that....so, if you end up POAS, you better let us all know asap!

Jamie said...

You don't want to obsess but it is impossible to STOP thinking about.

Hoping, praying, wishing that AF don't come knocking for at least a year . . .

Delenn said...

Wishing and hoping for you.

Rotten said...

Well now you have us all wondering and hoping. :)