and I don't know why. I'm feeling anxious and nervous. I still feel like AF could come at any second...I know I've seen a heartbeat, but until I see it again, I'm nervous. I'm scared. What if something goes wrong...what if...what if...what if. I guess I would feel better if I felt pg. If I had some morning sickness. But I don't. I have no food aversions. No food cravings. The closest I've come is getting an urge to puke last night as I was chewing my dinner. I wasn't sure if I could get it down. But it passed as quickly as it came on and I finished my dinner uneventfully. I never thought I would say it, but I WANT TO BE SICK!! Is that crazy or what?
I stop the PIO in another week. I'm afraid that AF will show up when I stop it. I've got this odd thought in my head that the PIO is the only thing holding AF back. Told you I was irrational today.
The other thing that scares me is the cost of raising a baby. DH and I aren't wealthy people by any means. We live paycheck to paycheck while putting some money in our 401k's. We have some savings, but that will go quickly as our mortgage is going to increase in November due to our escrow being reanalyzed. I'm afraid that we won't be able to provide for this baby. Realistically I know we can. We'll have to cut back on the frivolous spending we do, like eating out all the time, but I believe we can manage. However, my irrational side continues to worry (just so you know, I've always been one to worry about money, this is nothing new).
UUGGHHH!! I just want to know that everything will be ok. That it will all work out. I want to know that NOW...not later.
See, told you, completely irrational today.