Tuesday, January 17, 2012

To freeze or not to freeze

My clinic just called to talk to me about possibly freezing any remaining embryos we might have after ET.  I had to laugh.  We've done 3 IVF cycles...and have had 3 viable embryos make it to transfer.  We've never had anything to freeze. 

But the thought is there.  What happens if, with this new clinic, we miraculously end up with 6 or 7 embryos?  Obviously, the RE isn't going to transfer all of them back to me.  I brought it up with DH...he's not for freezing any.  He said we can't afford 3 or 4 kids, that I'm already 35 (too old) and that we can't afford the cost to freeze them ($1200, which I agree, we can't)...I told him that I can't wrap my mind around "throwing away" 3 babies.  Because in my head, that's what we'd be doing.  He told me that I was being unreasonable and overly emotional about the decision. 

How can I NOT be emotional about it?  We're talking potential babies here...not just eggs or sperm...but actual embryos. 

I don't know why I even bothered bringing it up to him.  It's not like we ever get "extras" anyway. 

But, I want to know...has anyone ever made the decision to NOT freeze extra embryos?  What were your reasons?  How did you feel about the decision?  Any regrets?


Anonymous said...

Can't help; haven't been there.

But, I would like the idea of freezing for a FET if the worst happens, and this IVF cycle doesn't work. But I don't know what you have planned.

And you'e not too old at 35. I'm pregnant with #2 at 39 (DH is 44). It's all in your head. Personally, I feel great, and we figure the kids keep us young!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Jen said...

We froze, but we didnt have to pay until after a year post initial freezing. At that point, we both agreed to donate them to a foundation to allow a couple who couldnt have their own a chance. I would much rather try giving someone else a chance than to just destroy them.

I dont think 35 is too old. Many people are having children now at 40.

Tati said...

I don't agree with the PP that it's "all in your head." IMO, that's a rude way to put it. However, I don't think at 35 you're too old...at least not when it would come to an FET. If you were doing a fresh cycle after 35, then I could understand. But age is a factor with egg quality.

I think men have an easier time of not being attached to the tx. After all, they don't have to go through the procedures/tests/ultrasounds/transfers/etc. So of course YOU are emotionally attached. It would be weird if you weren't! I think I would have those same feelings if I were in your shoes. I consider embryos having life, so I can't imagine "throwing them away."

That being said, I can understand needing to think logically about financial means of having more children and/or paying for freezing.

Would you be willing to donate your embryos? Then you will be helping someone else have children, giving the embryos a chance to live, and not having to bear the financial burden of having them frozen.

No matter what you decide, make the right decision for you and your family. I'm hoping with everything I have for you that this will work out perfectly! xoxo