Today is hard. I'm back at work after having been off all last week. And I thought that having the distractions of work would be a plus...but I'm finding that I really have no motivation to be here. Everything seems so petty...and inconsequential. I hate to say this, but I'm feeling exactly like I was when I first came back from maternity leave. All I want to do is be at home with Lexi.
I'm very sad...some of my co-workers know what happened...but none of them have acknowledged it. I take that back. One person did, and though I cried when she did, it felt good to have her acknowledge that a life was lost. Some may say that since we never saw a heartbeat, that there was no life lost. But I disagree. A life WAS lost...and I may never know if this child was a boy or girl, if it would have looked like me or my DH. I will never touch or hold this child...but he/she WAS there. I can't act as if nothing happened...because it did.
Not only was my child taken from me...but all the hopes and dreams that I had for this child were taken as well.