I feel like whenever I try to do something positive to try and pick myself up, H is always knocking me back down.
I'm fat...I've gained 70lbs in the 10 years I've been with H. At the beginning of the year, I vowed, again, that I would lose it once and for all. And each time I was met with resistance:
Me: I'm thinking about getting a treadmill
H: What the heck for?
Me: I want to lose 90 lbs
H: Who do you want to lose weight for all of a sudden?
Me: (Looking at the Color Run website) This might be fun
H: Why are you suddenly into running and losing weight?
Me: I want to feel good about myself again
H: Well, I love you the way you are. (said in a tone that implied I should as well)
Mind you...these conversations have all happened on different days...at different times. I feel like no matter what I'm being pushed back down. And I don't like it.
I bought my treadmill yesterday...it's sitting in my dining room. I want it in the basement. We'll see how long it takes before I have to ask my neighbor to help take it down for me.