Monday, February 25, 2013

Knocked down

I feel like whenever I try to do something positive to try and pick myself up, H is always knocking me back down.

I'm fat...I've gained 70lbs in the 10 years I've been with H.  At the beginning of the year, I vowed, again, that I would lose it once and for all.  And each time I was met with resistance:

Me: I'm thinking about getting a treadmill
H: What the heck for?

Me: I want to lose 90 lbs
H: Who do you want to lose weight for all of a sudden?

Me: (Looking at the Color Run website) This might be fun
H: Why are you suddenly into running and losing weight?

Me: I want to feel good about myself again
H:  Well, I love you the way you are.  (said in a tone that implied I should as well)

Mind you...these conversations have all happened on different days...at different times.  I feel like no matter what I'm being pushed back down.  And I don't like it.

I bought my treadmill yesterday...it's sitting in my dining room.  I want it in the basement.  We'll see how long it takes before I have to ask my neighbor to help take it down for me.

2 comments:

raisingmiles said...

UGH! I wish he was more supportive for you. I'm here though :)

Photogrl said...

That is super frustrating!

Has he gained weight over the years as well? Sometimes those who aren't happy with themselves don't want the ones around them to change, because then they feel like they'll have to change, KWIM?

I've been trying really hard to get healthy over the last few months...to do it for me, not anyone else. Slowly the weight is coming off, but I feel SO much better.

You can do this! I'll be rooting you on!