Thursday, October 11, 2007

Left Behind

I am a little sad today. But I am also very happy. Aside from this blog, I also post on another infertility forum, and have gotten to know some of the women there. I regularly (ok, semi regularly) post on a thread where 4 of us were cycling around the same time. One got her BFP early in the spring...another just about a week or so ago...and the third POAS a few days ago and got a positive. That means, I'm the one "left behind". Now, don't get me wrong, I love these ladies and am very happy that they finally got there, but I also can't help but feeling a little jealous and sad. Now I know what all those VET posters meant when they explained how it felt to be the only one in their "group" to not get pg. I'm feeling that now. Like my heart doesn't know what to do...it's alternately breaking and swelling with happiness for these women, my friends. Can that even happen? I feel like someone is playing with the happy button today...

7 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

ah that ever frightening left behind feeling. I am so sorry you are dealing with this ..i hope no one is mis-using your happy button.! Wishing for better days to come for you

Anonymous said...

Girl, I'm crying for you, because I know how you feel, but at the same time, I know you will get there. Dont worry about anyone but yourself - make yourself happy, even if it means being pissed off for a few days, then know and feel it in your heart that it will happen for you.

This is a long screwed up road that we've been forced to travel, but we have to make the best of it and believe.

Lots of love
Jen (IVF boards)

dmarie said...

I'm the "one" in a group from a few years ago. Sometimes I think about it and I can't believe it. I never imagined. I know how much it sucks. I'm sorry.

Familyof2 said...

It is hard to be constantly left at the starting gate isn't it?

If I may suggest www.dailystrength.org

Look for me if you join, I post under Jakeswife. It not a "normal" infertility board in that everyone cycles together...so no one is ever "left behind"

*Hugs*

Sunny Jenny said...

oh yes, I know this feeling. It's so hard to feel such conflicting emotions.

Amelia said...

After three years of trying now, it's happened alot in my world. I'm right there with you on the feeling a bit...bittersweet on being the one "left behind".

mary ellen said...

I know that feeling all too well my love and it really hurts. I am so sorry that you have to feel this way. Hugs.