Wednesday, November 5, 2008

14 weeks

When does it start to feel like this is actually real? I'm still feeling very surreal about the whole thing. DH and I went to the American Ba.by Faire this past weekend and I felt like an impostor! I couldn't wait to get out of there! Maybe it's because I'm not showing, or haven't gained any weight, or just feel normal...but I felt completely out of place amongst all the pregnant bellies and people toting babies and strollers. I'm worried that I'm not developing some kind of "bond" with my baby that I should be at this stage. Am I crazy? Please tell me I am.

I guess that's another thing infertility does to you. When you finally get to where you want to be, your heart has such a tall and thick wall around it, it makes it hard to let the possibility of happiness in.

Just a side note...my next appointment is in 2 weeks.

8 comments:

Mel said...

It gets more real, I promise. The first trimester is really so surreal and then somewhere around the time you find out the gender, something changes.
I am glad everything is still going so well!
*hugs*

The Thai Family said...

I wouldn't worry about it. It took us 1 1/2 years to get pregnant with our first and I had a hard time letting out the news and feeling at peace with it all. But once the baby started to move and I had ultrasound after ultrasound and I started to show it all started to become more real. It's different for everyone. At some point you have to let go of your fears and just relish in the pregnancy!

Fertilized said...

It took a very long time for me to feel that bond. Around 23-26 weeks i really started feeling it. If you don't that's ok because you will when you get to hold that lil thing in your arms

Jen said...

No, you aren't crazy. I didn't have any baby stuff in our house until I was around 30 weeks or so and Matt started making me buy it.

Chelle said...

I AM SURE you are bonding with your baby. and I AM SURE that it will start to feel real soon.

Hang in there!

wantinababy said...

I didnt feel a bond until I felt movement constantly - and not REALLY until I heard the babies cry after they were born - that really sets it all in. It's ok. That's great that you havent gained weight and feel normal. You could be sick all the time!!

docgrumbles said...

I am 30 weeks and big enough to need a maternity weight belt - and it still doesn't always feel real. Maybe when handed an actual warm baby...

JJ said...

Happy 14 weeks! I still have several 'wow' moments a day where I cant believe its real--Im so thankful it is for both of us!