Mish Mash

• On the 16th we took Lexi for her 4 year old photos (yes, a month yearly).  If you're friends with me on Facebook...they are there.  She looks so grown up that it makes me a little sad.  I do love this age though...she's blossoming into this bright, energetic little person with ideas and opinions and...oh the DEALS she makes to get what she wants.  It's a I'll do this for you if you do this for me kinda thing.  It makes me laugh everytime she asks me if we have a deal.  But I know she's learning to compromise and barter, and it makes it worth it.
• My bird died on the 21st.  He was a cockatiel just 2 months shy of 13 years old.  I've had him since the day he hatched...and hand fed him until he was old enough to feed himself.  He liked to sit on my shoulder, or eat chicken or spaghetti off my plate.  Well, that was before I had dogs and a kid.  I actually feel a little guilty that his last few years of life were spent in his cage instead of where he loved to be.  On my shoulder.  His cage was in my office, so I'd see him everyday...talk to him a little...and get my work done.  His cage sits empty now and when I glance up, I fully expect him to see me and whistle at me...it takes me a minute to remember that he's gone...and it makes me sad.
• I'm still seeing my therapist.  Since H doesn't go anymore, we're working on ways that I can avoid "catching the guilt" that he throws at me on a regular basis.  Guilt for wanting to lose weight and feel better about myself.  Guilt for wanting to spend time with my girlfriends.  Guilt for wanting to just be happy.  I've come to the conclusion that even if I gave H what he wants (sex) it wouldn't change things. 
• It's been almost a year since I've been intimate with my husband.  I cant' believe I'm actually admitting that.  April 21st of 2012 was the last time.  Says alot about our relationship.
• We're planning a trip to DisneyWorld in October.  More because Lexi is still in that "belief" stage and really believes that Cinderella lives in the Castle there.  We want to take her before she loses that innocence.