That's how I'm feeling. Like I can't fight anymore because everytime I throw a punch, I'm knocked back down on my ass by something else. I went for my colposcopy yesterday. And while the procedure itself wasn't painful, the outcome wasn't as I hoped. I have extensive cervical dysplasia. The GYN was "shocked" that I'd never had an abnormal PAP before. He took 3 biopsies and now I wait until March 5th to find out how bad it really is.
So on top of dealing with the hell that is IF, I have this to worry about. The GYN said that if I have mild dysplasia, there is no reason not to do another IVF cycle. However, if I have moderate or severe dysplasia, they will need to do further testing on my cervix...which could weaken it and prevent me from carrying a baby to term. The thought scares the shit out of me. Not only that, but the thought of cervical cancer at my age (31) scares me even more. I have so much I want to do in my life, I'm not ready for a diagnosis like that.