Friday, June 22, 2012

A second job?

I'm sure I've mentioned that DH is out of work.  Has been since December 14th.  He recently had to go to the unemployment office to "reup" for the federal extension of his benefits.  I can't believe he's been out of work for 6 months already.  We have 6 months of benefits left.  And I feel the clock ticking...if the last 6 months have gone by as quickly as they did, I can only imagine how the next 6 will fly by.

Things have been ok for us financially, but that's about to change.  See, the beginning of the year brings tax refunds and bonuses.  Which were used to help pay the expenses.  That money is pretty much gone now...along with what little savings we had.  Things are about to become tighter than we'd like. Don't get me wrong, we don't buy frivulously...the playset and pool for Lexi were thouroughly researched.  The playset was a steal find on Craigslist...and the pool...well, we were planning on putting her in swim lessons.  It was budgeted for.  Once a week for 8 weeks...the cost was $65.  $65 for 360 minutes of swim time.  The pool cost us $150...well about $250 once you add in chemicals and hoses and other necessary items to keep said pool clean and bacteria free.  $250 for unlimited pool enjoyment.  $185 more than we planned to spend.  But we knew it was a better "spend" in the long run than the lessons that were really glorified play time.  Plus DH and I could enjoy it as well.

Anyway, back on track...things are about to become much tighter.  On a whim, I applied online on Wednesday to the red bullet store.  They called me yesterday.  I called back this morning and they want to setup an interview with me.

I don't know yet how I really feel about working a full time job, and a part time job together, while DH doesn't work.  He IS trying.  He's had a few possibilities...but they are either full time jobs making way less than he is getting in unemployment (which means we wouldn't make ends meet) or they are part time positions making just over the minimum amount allowed by unemployment to keep his benefits.    I work my full time job until 4:30 or 5ish from home.  I put on the application that I could work 6-10pm on weeknights and anytime on weekends, but that I was looking for only about 15-20 hours a week.  I want what is best for our family.  The extra money would would the associate discount!  But I'm conflicted.  Thoughts?

Monday, June 11, 2012

Happy 1st Birthday Little One

Dear Baby,

You should be turning one year old this week.
You should be playing in the pool with your big sister. 
You should be starting to walk and babble. 
You should be smiling a not so gummy smile.
We should be planning a party for you.
I should be ordering a cake.
But none of these things are happening. 
I fear that I'm the only one thinking of you, and wishing you were here.

Mommy loves you little one.

Happy 1st Birthday...whereever you are. 

Friday, June 1, 2012

Where she asks "the" question.

Lexi has been very inquisitive lately...asking lots of questions.  Which is fine.  Until one caught me off guard. 

She asked me when she was going to get a brother or sister.

I had to fight to keep my composure as I told her that I didn't know as I tried to distract her with other things.  10 minutes later I was able to retreat into my bedroom and let the tears flow.  This was the question I had been dreading.  She LOVES playing with other kids and is ENTRANCED with babies.  It breaks my heart even more knowing I can't give her this.  Not because I don't want to...but because my body betrays me.